Guardian (2001)

The greatest movie ever made..!

ridiculous rating

Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

While it is a pity that the story wasn't told with more visual finesse, this is trivial compared to our real-world problems. It takes a good movie to put that into perspective.

The plot really wasn't even much of one and I thought it meandered all over the place like a drunk leaving a bar. In the end, I felt that the director (if he can really call himself one) left far too many loose threads than should be allowed.The premise of the movie didn't make much sense, either. The way it started off was pretty lame. Following 'Telal' from his 'escape,' if you can call it that, made no sense. Having Selena conveniently explain stuff didn't make it any easier to swallow, either. The superstitious mumbo jumbo didn't make the movie any more interesting, it just provided more of a convenient vehicle to drag it out.Overall, a really bad movie. I think it lowered my IQ several points! I wouldn't recommend it to anybody.May Telal be a curse upon this horrid movie!

SLIGHT SPOILERS This could have been a very good film.It is the kind of film where somebody came up with a fairly good plot, and a decent cast, then the accountants got at it, and ripped the guts out of it.The plot is simple, an archeaologist in Iraq, inadvertantly releases a demon, a soldier who is there to guide a smart bomb onto the dig site gets involved with Sumerian legend without his knowledge, gets shot and we jump 12 years into the future, LA 2003.I was halfway through the film before I got a grip on it, kept on watching, waiting for the big ending, and it never happened.There is a slight similarity to Denzil Washingtons Fallen, and this would seem to be an attempt at suspense and betrayal, it works a bit, but is too easily seen through. It is watchable, but with a bit of work it could have been much better. If you know the way when you eat a big Chinese meal, and you are stuffed full, then two hours later you are hungry again, then you will know what I mean.It wasn't a bad film, it just seems like it because it falls so short of what it could and should have been. 5/10

*** SPOILER ALERT ****** SPOILER ALERT ****** SPOILER ALERT ***I caught this late night on cable because it sounded interesting and there was nothing else on. It started out okay with a sequence set during Desert Storm and then moving to 2003 LA, which is where it went downhill.The first major plot point, an LA cop being told he had been chosen to be the protector of some kind of messiah, didn't happen until 40 minutes into the movie. And given that the movie is 89 minutes long, that's way too late.Now, with only 49 minutes to really tell the story, there were a lot of jumps--a lot of big jumps--in the plot which I could barely follow and believe even less. I'm no stranger to weird plot twists. I've watched a lot of Asian cinema, where plot twists and holes are commonplace, but there's a difference somehow. You watch enough of it, you come to expect it.But with Western cinema, you expect a logical path which leads from one scene to the next. That barely existed in this movie, which is all too bad, because it really seemed like an idea that could've worked if there had been some more meat to it.

1st watched 8/12/2001 - 5 out of 10(Dir-John Terlesky): Interesting yet unfulfilling strange action/sci fi yarn with good performance by Mario Van Peebles. This was an enjoyable movie until the tel-al demon seemed invincible and although I won't give away the ending, it really took the movie from "thumbs up" to "thumbs down" status for me. I was routing for this picture because of the variety of bad-movies that Van Peebles has been involved with, but despite Van Peebles well-done performance the movie didn't quite make it.