Lumberjack Man (2015)

Perfectly adorable

just watch it!

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

The tone of this movie is interesting -- the stakes are both dramatic and high, but it's balanced with a lot of fun, tongue and cheek dialogue.

Hell breaks loose for a class of students on a camp trip when they are stalked by a masked killer.Watching this reminded me of two great classics: Sleepaway Camp and Texas Chainsaw Massacre but in the twentieth century version. The bad guy looks a little like Leatherface.(at allure).OK so the movie is stupid but fun. The girls are cute, the nudity is needed to attract the viewer, the killings were gross but original.I will keep it short, if it wasn't for the silly thing with the syrup perhaps the outcome could have been much better, why ruin all that effort from the actors for that dumb fact ?If you like a horror with a lousy ending then you might enjoy it. Watch it one night and you will not be 100% disappointed. I wasn't.

This is meant to be part of the After Dark's 8 films to die for Horrorfest. I am not fussy when it comes to horror, but their standards are REALLY sliding! This was badly acted, scripted, shot and in fact bad in every department. The comedy falls flat. The characters' stupidity is beyond reason! They are stereotyped, unlikeable brain-dead twits! They stand there while the killer prepares to kill them! The killer's only weakness is an allergy to pancake syrup?! I mean WHAT THE %3@&! Another gripe is the very long running time of 105 minutes. It should be cut down to 80 minutes. The content of this movie does not have enough for the excessive running time. This is not a B movie in a good way....This is a complete disaster! Michael Madsen appears to really need a paycheck for appearing in this one! My very first F in the usually high standard After Dark label. AVOID!!!!

Totally lame pile of BS with the lamest back-story for a horror movie slasher! Michael Madsen... boy, I just lost a lot of respect for you. You're way too good for this low-budget piece of crap!There are so many things that just don't make sense. Now, I get that it's a dark comedy. Okay. I can accept some things. But others, just... um... hmmm -Like the extremely hot ranger chick (who looked way too young to be Ranger Chief - or whatever the heck her title was) who fires what seems to be a Rambo-sized amount of bullets from a 9 mm automatic handgun without ever reloading. And then... she is the ONLY character to be struck by one of Lumberjack Man's axes who actually lives. Now, that's not such a stretch, it's possible to survive an ax attack. BUT, she took the ax in the back - right in the spine - and then pulls it out by herself and, somehow, doesn't bleed to death! AND THEN - at the end, she's up and walking around. Whoa - WHAT? That spinal cord had to be severed, no doubt! And wasn't it enough that we had the hot, lead chick come out alive in the end? Why did we have to save the hot, blonde ranger chick, too? That's just a bit too much BS for me.However, I did give this 2 stars for all of the (.)(.) running around on set! Good job, Mr. Director. But, I'm just a little bummed out that we never got to see the heroin in all her glory... but I'll settle for the panties and bra. Very nice touch.

If ANY director decides he/she is going for black comedy, they have to walk a very fine line otherwise their picture is going to fail and fail horribly. Such is the case in "Lumberjack Man," another in After Dark's compilation for this year. It started with great promise. A group of foul-mouthed teenagers is on their way to summer bible camp. I think the total IQ on the bus might have been 25, but I can deal with that. Their leading camp counselor is a dork you just want to beat over the head with a large object. Of course, every boy (save one) has only one thing on their mind and you can imagine what that is. They are pursued by a doctor (played by Michael Madsen) who is trying to advise the locals of the impending disaster unless someone can stop "Lumberjack Man." Madsen does not take his part seriously, which was a nice change. In fact, he's one of the few bright spots in the picture. It was the director's decision to take this movie so over-the-top where the mistake was made. I don't mind "camp." In fact, it can be rather refreshing in a genre that's gone mainly to the dogs. However, in this case, the director decided he had to constantly club the viewer over the head with language, nudity, and plain old stupidity to make the movie likable/watchable . BIG MISTAKE. If you're going for "black comedy" or "camp," you simply HAVE to make some of your characters likable, but most of all, BELIEVABLE. Only the worst of caricatures were in this movie, from the methed-out bus driver to the bimbos. There was nothing but a constant stream of the f- bomb, boobies, and tepid CGI kills. As for the villain, I've seen better masks on "Face Off." There are no scares, no tension (you see the "monster" from the get-go), and no connection between characters. The movie is rated "R" for constant language, nudity, and some horror violence. Strike "2" After Dark. I've got two more installments I'm going to watch tonight.