Creepozoids (1987)

I have absolutely never seen anything like this movie before. You have to see this movie.

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

When you go into a movie called Creepozoids you only have yourself to blame and I take full responsibility for the torment I put upon myself.This 80's sci-fi B-movie tells the story of a world torn apart by nuclear explosions where the few survivors hide from mutants and acid rain. The movie follows such a group who break into a mysterious lab and come under attack from a mysterious creature.The lack of budget devastates the movie as the generic 80's monster lives in the shadows and is hardly seen. The story is wafer thin, it all looks terrible and scream queen horror legend Linnea Quigley in all her glory couldn't even turn this around.From the awful monster, savage giant rat and weird unexplained fetus creature the thing would have worked better as a comedy, played seriously it's pitiful.The Good: They didn't make a sequelThe Bad:Monster looks terribleLack of budget clearly showsLittle to no character developmentThings I Learnt From This Movie:Every scifi monster in the 80's looked the sameAt least half the script is screamsMonster or no monster, watching a baby getting strangled with its umbilical cord is very unsettling

It's the not so distant "future" (1998, to be exact) and Earth has been decimated by nuclear wars. What's left is a barren wasteland, not that we ever get to see it. A small team of Army deserters (three men, two women) come across a scientific installation where your standard issue strange experiments have been going on. In this case, they revolved around creating those amino acids that the human body can't create on its own. The result is a monster that makes mincemeat of these dumb chumps in record time.One can't help but laugh at micro budget drek such as "Creepozoids", which is good, because otherwise, we wouldn't really get much entertainment value out of it. Everything about it is primitive, including the makeup and creature effects. Co-writer / co-producer / director David DeCoteau pays as much tribute to "Alien" as he can, but the gaps between the two films are hilariously obvious at every turn. There's zero suspense, very little action, a redundant finale, the requisite sex and nudity (it *does* star Linnea Quigley, after all), a delicious and catchy cheese ball electronic score by Guy Moon, and amusing performances.Linnea is lovely and appealing, as she always is. Ken Abraham ("Hobgoblins"), Michael Aranda, Richard L. Hawkins ("Close Encounters of the Third Kind"), and extremely prolific adult film actress Ashlyn Gere co-star.The ending is particularly bad, but it adds to the appeal of this hunk of junk.Five out of 10.

Five young people desert the military during the apocalypse of WWIII and seek shelter in an abandoned research facility. Unfortunately, it is inhabited by giant rats and a...um...Creepozoid, I guess. This movie has approximately three main sets: The bedroom (and the nearby shower for the obligatory Linnea nude scene) where the characters hide when they are scared, the lair of the Creepozoid, and the hallway joining the two. In fact, most of this movie takes place with the characters running in the hallway, between the other two sets. There isn't much else to say about this. Oh yeah, the cast is cute, especially the lead. Unfortunately, he can't act and I reckon he slept with DeCoteau to get the role. Good for both of them. Gets an extra point for having a mutant baby in it for no ostensible reason.

For what it is/what Creepazoids captures a time in cinema history. The time when robotic baby monsters, dry ice, apocalyptic times, needless gore and a few hot women created an 80's masterpiece. All be it, that when it ends, you are shocked. That the film only lasts 71 minutes. I enjoyed it. I am an 80's film fan, all types. But I especially like the ones like these, that make absolutely no point, there is no 'underlying meaning' to try to figure out. It's just what is it. IBottomline, if you're a fan of crap movies and consider them to be as entertaining as any Hollywood drama, then at least rent this movie. I just purchased it for $3 for my local video store. It's a keeper, simply for the fact that there are both monster babies and giants rats. period.