The Lost Empire (1984)

Just so...so bad

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Three bosomy babes go undercover to the island of Dr. Sin Do (Angus Scrimm) to find out why Angel's cop brother was murdered by some ninja looking dudes. The diabolical doctor holds a martial arts tournament, but it also using his conquests for slaves to be sold while staying young by drinking their blood. Oh, and he is also looking to gain world power by combining the ancient Eyes of the Avatar stones, one of which just happens to be in Angel's purse. This was director Jim Wynorski's directing debut and it is delight from start to finish. It is incredibly pulpy and definitely has its tongue-in-cheek. The most surprising thing here is all three female leads (Melanie Vincz as Angel, Raven De La Croix as Whitestar, Angela Aames as Heather) are actually really funny in their roles, showing they were on the same page as Wynorski. Of course, seeing as this is Wynorski, you know that the screen will be covered in busty babes who get topless. Hell, his opening shot is a James Bond-style scope that pans across some boobs! He doesn't disappoint and Russ Meyer would be proud. It is such a strong debut for Wynorski that it saddens me that he basically stopped giving a damn 10 years later and now just cranks out generic action and T&A messes. Co- starring Paul Coufos as love interest Rick, Robert Tessier as evil sidekick Koro, and Blackie Dammett (aka Anthony Keidis' pop) as a corrupt cop.

This film makes for one half of a great double bill with Russ Meyer's UP! Both are notable for featuring the 70s-80s lovely-busty brunette, Raven De La Croix. Miss De La Croix should have been a major star of lowbrow cinema. She could have played an ongoing series action-adventure heroine who comes to the rescue, bashes the baddies and comes out on top while being stripped of all her clothing in the process. She really gets better the less she has on, which means that she's PERFECT (and perfectly nude) at the end of UP!She was quite good as an undercover cop in UP! This wasn't the best of Russ Meyer's movies, but it's worth watching for Raven.Hers was a lost opportunity, but these two films are available on video.

OK, this isn't a good film by any stretch of the imagination but you don't really get it for that do you? I bought it just to see Raven de la Croix as I remember seeing this when a youngster and her being this incredible figure of white on a horse (white star is her character name).The plot and FX are laughable but the music was surprisingly better than expected almost sounding like the works of John Carpenter.Unfortunately the film is only a 15 so there's no real sex but the image of Raven in some kind of very short, dream state when she has a snake draped round her neck is mind bendingly erotic and worthy of the purchase price.

Mr. Wynorski knows how to make cheese, but unlike other cheese distributors, he knows how to make it entertaining.Lost Empire follows a rogue styled police officer, well played by sexy Melanie Vincz, who searches for the killer of her cop brother. Teaming up with Melanie are mystic native Raven de la Croix, and badgirl rough-houser Angela Aames.The buxom trio fly to an island camp run by the villainous Angus Scrimm. There they fight against the terrorists and get naked at every possible opportunity. I admire Jim for his ability to get women naked in all of his films. And seeing both Angela Aames and Raven de la Croix nude, is a splendor to behold.