Born to Raise Hell (2010)

Intense, gripping, stylish and poignant

It is not only a funny movie, but it allows a great amount of joy for anyone who watches it.

Just intense enough to provide a much-needed diversion, just lightweight enough to make you forget about it soon after it’s over. It’s not exactly “good,” per se, but it does what it sets out to do in terms of putting us on edge, which makes it … successful?

Mostly, the movie is committed to the value of a good time.

There's an hour and whatever of my life wasted. Poor in every respect, I felt offended by this film for reasons I can't quite fathom. Maybe something to do with an American view of the world? I can't be sure. Maybe that is my main gripe - the idea that a country, even ex-eastern bloc, needs the yanks to show 'em how to 'do justice'; of course, there's no such thing as drug dealers or crime in the USA..... And the 'sex' scene!?!? A laugh out loud moment, tinged with guilt. It might as well have been inter- species. They probably made this film where they did 'cos the girls are pretty and easily paid. So, to summarise - red-neck, USA-hollering' sexist clap trap. He should be, at the very least, strongly discouraged from making any movies again.

Steven Seagal (who also wrote and helped produce the film) stars as the head of The International Drug Task Force, in Bucharest, Romania, who wants revenge against the thieves who murdered his partner and the man's wife in cold blood. The leader of this group is named Costel, in league with a former member of the Russian Special Forces, Dimitri, using women to mule dope to London, also a sick rapist pig who enjoys invading the homes of the Romanian rich to steal their money and sexually molest the wives of those they steal from. When Costel has a falling out with Dimitri (resulting in the murder of Dimitri's wife), the two will enter a war with Seagal's agent Samuel Axel allowed a chance to exploit this "rift"; Axel will gain an ally in Dimitri who has the kind of connections which enable him to find out the whereabouts of Costel.BORN TO RAISE HELL is yet another low-budget Romanian Seagal flick, with the star going through the motions, a little grumpier than he usually is in these kinds of action junk, at one point cursing out a cop under his command, Steve (D Neil Mark) when an arrest doesn't adhere to the proper procedures. Dan Badarau's Dimitri is a quiet, reserved Russian kingpin who only uses violence when he must, such as silencing a regular customer who blabs to Samuel about his drug trafficking and dealing on the Bucharest streets. Darren Shahlavi, on the other hand, as the hostile Costel, is a depraved, repulsive creep who enjoys raping, dealing, stealing, and killing. Seagal's screenplay is designed to make Costel as disturbed and twisted as possible so when his hero dismantles the heavy at the end, you hate the scumbag so greatly his demise is justified with the proper applause. Zoltan Butuc is Dada, Costel's cruel enforcer who is the triggerman that blew away Dimitri's lady. The movie has all the tired clichés, with drugs the typical excuse for Seagal's above-the-law narcotics officer to bash Costel's men into mush. The sound effects, when Seagal lands his arsenal of blows and martial arts techniques to subdue his opponents, make him sound superhuman. As usual, Seagal hurls men into furniture and glass, with bodies breaking and shattering whatever objects they are thrown into so that he looks like a million dollars. The same editing wizardry is applied so that Seagal appears to be unstoppable, such as when he takes apart a group of Dimitri's men outside a van during a stakeout, or the final hand-to-hand combat with Costel (more like hand-to-face as Costel is essentially a punching bag). Sadly, you can tell that some of Seagal's dubbing is through someone who attempts to impersonate the way he talks—the man can't even bother doing his own dubbing. These movies are just a means for extra income and jokers like me continue to rent this crap.

Seagal in Born to Raise Hell seems almost identical to Seagal as himself in his reality series. In some ways this might be a good thing. It means that the film acknowledges that there is no point in asking him to play act stereotypes anymore, like he did in his last film A Dangerous Man. Here he's just being himself. Something else which makes that a positive is the simple fact that the movie isn't really about him. It's more about a drug war between cops and Eastern European mafia. Seagal is just one cop out of a handful. As a screenwriter, Seagal chooses to write him self out rather than in, and subsequently we spend more time with the mafia.The fight scenes come with a crunchy sound mix, and they allow us to see more Seagal than Stunt man, but they reek of bad editing. the people who direct movies like Born to Raise Hell are not qualified for anything except music videos. this movie implements a very miscalculated Goddardian style of cutting, and a severe overuse of slow motion. We don't need to see a guy ripping a bedroom apart for jewels at five frames per second. The last scene is kind of touching (at least for a Seagal movie). It was around that part when I realized that the movie is not really about Seagal. That and the fact that we only here his name about five times. I don't wanna mislead anyone however. Born to Raise Hell will probably do the job for whatever fan base the old man has left. He's done better, but he's also done way worse.

Steven Seagal is sitting down in his favorite Romanian restaurant with his 19-year old blonde girl-friend; he is wearing his favorite turtle-neck and leather jacket combination for the occasion. When he is done ordering for him and her from a dodgy-looking waiter ("She's having what I'm having, because I'm totally awesome. - What I'm having? I don't know, what are you having?"), two even more dodgy-looking pony-tailed Albanians pop up, and certainly not to sell roses...So Steven tries to get up, falls over - almost into a fire - because for some reason unknown to the viewer, he suddenly seems to be wearing no less than FOUR TURTLENECK SWEATERS! So his stunt-double is trying to get up while Steve is fighting off two dodgy-looking Albanians and multiple turtlenecks. On top of that he's wearing a MASSIVE bullet-proof SHIELD that leaves room for about seven more turtlenecks and two more leather jackets! Just as everything gets get way too complicated on the eyes, ears and brain, the muscles take over and get the job done! Steven Seagal's hand muscles - in extreme close-up: supreme slapping by Steve! Every other Balkan-type is effortlessly brushed aside with a top-spin backhand.Steve pushes a few more - also some innocent looking staff - out of the window and takes his stone-faced trophy by the hand. "This is why I hate eating out," he groans as he walks out of the place.And he is so right. Putting on multiple turtlenecks, two or three leather jackets and a kevlar suit two times the size of Oprah Winfrey must be a hassle - let alone the fans that want a word, an autograph or a smack in the face ("Please, Steve - It would be an honor!"). Add that to the fact that it takes him about five minutes to get a bite of food down. Steve is practically unable to breathe during dinner and he has to rely on ancient eastern meditation techniques to stay alive!No - bothering the maestro during a meal is certainly not a good plan. Don't do it kids, stay in school! Don't do Steven Seagal. Well, not unless you're 18, or until you're 16. Or before you're totally awesome. Like the pony-tailed sushi-chef extra-ordinaire himself, the man whose hair has miraculously started to grow back since 1988, after a mystical experience at a Rick Astley concert. The man we have all learned to love, in spite and because of everything he is, was, and will be.If one time, the day comes that I am to meet him, I will not kneel and kiss his feet - no siree Bob! I will stay out of his way, because I'm afraid he will do something unexpected , like quote Shakespeare. And that would not be right. Because, not only is Steven Frederic Seagal an outstanding thespian in his own right and time and place in time and space, he's an excellent auteur as well. So there is absolutely no in him quoting a fellow playwright. Hah! Having said that and having said this and having said earlier that what I'm saying right now may or may not be entirely according to the truth as we know it , I rest my case.