Dark Reel (2008)

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

The first scene of the film grabs your attention; a man with no name who looks like a throw back from the 40's enters a bar and makes small talk with a damsel in distress. He worms his way into her heart and into his warehouse where he is directing her into her grave. The rest of the film is forced especially the acting except for the actor, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, who adds some life to this dead dud. Edward Furlong looks like he has been on a bender and needs to take a time out. Their is too much talking and not enough killing. I mean, come on, this is a horror film not a soap opera! Honestly, there is nothing to recall about this film. I did use the fast forward button a lot. Don't waste your time and effort.

The plot: Furlong is a fat drunk that lives on a futon in LA. He apparently has no job and likes watching terrible horror movies. He is also creepy because he followed his girlfriend from Georgia or somewhere that has fake accents. At the beginning Furlong tries, but sounds like he's doing an Australian accent and then just drops it.Lucky for him, he wins a contest and gets to be an extra in a horror movie (but it's a pirate movie?). When he meets the actors, they're all stuck up bitches except for the most famous one who falls in love with his doughy belly, jaundiced eyes, and puffy black sandbags that float under his eyes on that big chubby cheeked face of his. At one point they go swimming together, but he won't take of his shirt because he has D-cup man-boobs. They then have sex and are in love. All the while everyone on the film is getting murdered and there are two cops (candyman and apparently a former prostitute) in all of LA that can handle the case. Eventually nothing makes sense and Furlong is dark and mysterious and sexy and I totally bought the hot chicks interest in him. There's one good actor in the movie. He's an old guy and probably thought this was a serious film. He must be retarded because his dialog was apparently written by Christopher Reeves, after the accident.I imagine this is how the script went.Scene: Old man and candyman discuss the depths of man's soul while smoking Kools. Fat drunk actor meanwhile see's a dead women in the dailys. Hot chick loves fat drunk actor because he doesn't believe in showers or sleep. Ghost makes old man shoot himself in the head but the movie just will not end. Fat drunk actor who has sex with hot chick after being cast as an extra is suddenly a famous movies star and at the screening totally pisses of his ex-girlfriend and she makes a face like she farted and got poop got in her mouth. The curtain falls. Overall I give it a ten.

That's right...it's a bore.Ahhhh, it be a very big bore. The cast is lacking so much. When the best performer is a horror movie actress who is best known for her screaming and baring her chest, then you know that the film is a drag.Once a mighty well known actor, now looking quite sick or hungover - Edward Furlong is just awful to watch. His voice is a shriek in itself. His eyes are so puffy and his performance is so weak.The script is like countless before it that are also weak.Thinking of renting it? I think it's time to rent a good movie - like The Terminator or Aliens or best yet - Back To The Future.At 1 hour and 40 minutes long, it's 1 hour and 35 minutes too long and the ending is rather dull.

This is the worst movie ever made, the sound guy must've been drunk considering all of the noises you don't need to hear that are there. The acting was sub par, Lance Henrickson has done much better in the past, ie Aliens and Millennium series. He must really need money to have taken this. Not only did Edward Furlong age badly and let himself go, but his acting was deplorable. The detectives and their cheesy attitudes did nothing to make it any better, the best part of the movie was the idiotic Rhett Johnson. Otherwise one of the cheesiest horror movies ever made, I want my $1.07 back for renting it. The sword in the back was horrid, absolutely the most fake job of stabbing someone I've ever seen.