Cheerleader Massacre (2003)

Stylish but barely mediocre overall

Boring, long, and too preachy.

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

Don't be foolish enough to take this film for face value, it is clearly an abomination as far as legitimate cinema goes. This movie is also however a masterpiece of the poorly made, soft-core porn, horror variety. How can you possible go wrong? Do what I did, get really bored and make sure no one with you is a pretentious ass without a sense of humor. Next, pop this bad boy into your DVD player and blaze. After 20 minutes, hit play and prepare to laugh your ass off like never before. This will however only last about an hour or so before you pass out from inevitable boredom. Never take a movie like this too seriously and you cannot lose.

This movie was one of those movies where it completely fooled me into thinking that it was a cheesy 80's slasher flick, based on the cover, but it wasn't. It was quite possibly one of the worst slasher films that I have ever seen. The picture on the cover did not match any part or scene in the movie; in fact it didn't involve a chainsaw. Not even the tag line fit the movie. The film is about a group of cheerleaders and two potheads who escape to a desolate cabin, in the cold woods, for a weekend getaway. However, things get extra chilly when they start to get murdered by an unknown killer. At the same time, the local sheriff's department is hunting down a dangerous killer. I'll name the problems in a list.1. The Acting. Boy was it cheap and horribly bad. It felt unnatural and it seemed as thought it was very scripted. None of the actors seemed as though they tried to perform with good intentions and therefore they seemed silly and tired. There was bad acting by all the characters in the movie, so I won't point out specific people, but I wills say that the stoners did a horrible job, as well as the police and the cheerleaders, which is not a surprise.2. The Plot. This story had set up a perfect storyline for good ol' fashion slasher flick, but instead they peppered it with plot-holes, useless and unnecessary scenes and an overall stupid back-story to the killer's intentions. There were major plot-holes including how the killer killed the last victim so quickly and yet still be there in the group of girls when it happened? The ex-con virtually served no purpose in the movie aside from being a useless plot device. There was random and unnecessary sex and nudity sprinkled throughout it, even for a b-movie or my taste it was a bit too much. As for the killer's intentions, lets just say it was stupid and it makes no sense as to why she / he is killing young girls. Plus, there was also some very predictable kills that I saw coming about 30 miles away.3. The Technical Side. The lighting was okay, it certainly wasn't the worse lighting that I've seen in a movie, but there were points where it was supposed to be dark but it looked more like the afternoon. The house seemed darker with the lights on, then with the lights off. The camera work was average, it didn't have any good establishing shots or amazing pans or zooms, thought it did get the job done is building some suspense with it's framing.Overall, this movie, in the sense of plot, character development and performance, was a huge disappointment and a waste of my time. What I thought would have been a great slasher flick turned out to be one of the worse movies that I have ever seen. The acting was really bad and wooden, there was hardly any sense in the plot and there was no emotion to this film. However, the technical aspect of this film saved it for me, because if the camera work or the lighting was bad, then I would have turned off the DVD player and popped in something else. I would recommend this movie to those who enjoy really cheesy b-movies as well as those who follow cult classics, because this movie certainly is. I would partially recommend this film for those who enjoy 80s slasher flicks. But for me, this movie was pitiful and utterly horrible.

Amusing enough throwback to late 1970s early 1980s slasher movies, with lots of good looking (albeit young) girls, scantily clad and large breasted, who end up hiking through the wilderness and eventually hold up in a remote cabin during a snowstorm after their van runs out of gas. They begin the usual drinking and f**king in this luxurious and fully stocked cabin, before being sliced and diced by an unseen killer. The ever present clichés notwithstanding, this is actually kind of a funny little Z-movie, a hybrid of slasher flicks and soft core porno, with the requisite nude/ shower scenes featuring mostly porno chicks in their first and only horror flick and a couple of gory killings thrown in so that this can actually be called a "horror" movie. It can't always rise above the microscopic budget: with its home video quality look and feel to it despite some occasionally inspired camera work, and the bouncy girl on the footbridge was clearly only about 8 feet off the ground, while trying to appear to be 200 feet in the air. The final resolution about the killer's identity is far from surprising or convincing, and is probably the biggest letdown. The biggest mystery about this movie: why are the opening credits shown in front of two Christmas tree angels and a flashlight?It's certainly no classic, but it's slightly better than some people here have said, and the deleted scene on the DVD, which was taken from an unfinished project, along with Julie Corgil's bouncy 33Ds, make this worth the rental price alone.

Thanks to the cover this movie looks good, thanks to the direct it is actually complete rubbish. Slasher fans should stay the hell away from this one, There's no Plot, no talent and I am sorry to say that i've actually seen it. Thank God i rented it online and it only cost me about 50 pence, because if i'd spent any more i might have to go and slash my own wrists, from the sheer depression. I think the Director thought that a few Bimbos on the cover and the word Cheerleader might make a movie, by which rationale i could sell a turd in a box if I only cellotape a picture of Britney Spears on the front. Even for an amateur movie this stinks and forget soft porn, aside from a very short appearance from April Flowers there is nothing worth watching here. Wynorski...get a job.