Inara, the Jungle Girl (2012)

Expected more

Blistering performances.

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

So the good points.The cinematography is good great camera angles and well lit locations. the music/score is actually really good if a little cheesy in places but it's a lot better than most b movies.That being said the script and acting render this film almost unwatchable.the fight scenes are really clunky and awkward.There doesn't seem to be a plot or reason to anything just a series of scene changesThere's some hot girls not wearing much but don't expect to much.

I've been interested in the bizarre 'Jungle Girl' genre lately. So I bought Inara as one of the more recent examples. I generally don't go out of my way to write a review on every film I've seen. Yet this film compelled me to do so.Where to begin? Some folks are just going to say this a badly made film. That's both understatement and a bit too harsh. Obviously on some level this was a labor of love. And it seems to have been made by rather timid fanboys. They seemed completely amazed to get to lens skimpily attired women and have absolutely no idea what to do next.The story? Girl discovers she an Amazon queen after living a pointless life in the 'real' world. There is a little room for a good story here. But very little room.The plot? Now we know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall. It's astounding how often you just ask yourself "Why is this happening?' 'How could that happen?' Why does Inara wear hyper sexy clothes as part of her paramilitary unit. Why does the plane crash? Why do the women all wear Maybelline eyeshadow in the jungle? Why is there no nudity yet so much suggestion of titillation? And even finally how could Inara remember her mother when she was still in swaddling cloths? And I could list inconsistencies all night long. Or just plain puzzles: Where do these women come from? Why are they all around the same age? Why are they so ethnically diverse? Why do they speak another language? And then they can also speak English? Do they reproduce? And how is it that they all went to yoga class together in the jungle? Also we needed acres of exposition to grasp what in the world we were watching and we didn't get it. Except in one scene where a senior officer is explaining something for far too long.Acting? The little girl did a little of it. After that? Wow. Someone mentioned that they used a bunch of female wrestlers. called Ring Divas. I can believe it. Where did they get those names? Cali Danger. Destiny Dumon. Empress Sayuri. Now dear Cali could actually turn into an actress. There is something fascinating about her. But in order to do that she's really going to need help from the director, she didn't get any here.Directing? When? It's curious that with all of the DVD commentaries and special features these days that this director seems to have actually absorbed very little about the craft of directing. Scenes go on interminably without a drop of tension or interest. The final battle seems to have been run through once hastily. And why didn't these machine gun toting mercs just blast away? Why did they fight them with machetes? Okay so let's say you do have a final hand to hand battle, I don't remember seeing a drop of blood. And what was the point of the whole film? Was it a vaguely politically correct jungle movie about female empowerment? Since when are jungle movies ever politically correct? That's the reason they are interesting.Now apart from the bad directing, acting, music (don't even get me started) etc there were a couple of good points. First of all occasionally the cinematography was good. In fact it made the women stand out in the lush greens and nighttime shots. It's a shame they didn't have anything to do. Also Cali Danger may not be much of an actress yet. Nevertheless she has some odd charisma, she needs to find a better project. Evidently this film was conceived and shot in North Carolina. Two cheers for the regional filmmaking and marketing. And they have marketed their little film with more moxy than went into the actual filming.And finally I believe that in ten to twenty years from now this film will be a cult film of the so-bad-it's-funny category. I found myself hollering at the screen, something I rarely do. And I can imagine that in some strange way this film will have a weird life of its own.Perhaps one day someone will make a serious Jungle Girl movie? It hasn't happened yet.

I'm rating the trailer. I've never seen this movie, and expert importers can't find any trace of it. Being RavenGlamDVDCollector@gmail here at ElectricLadyLand, I am of course interested in it. I Googled AMAZONIA and found the trailer, and was, of course, mesmerized by all these young actresses clearly-heading-for-the- red-carpets of Oscar night after this gloriously green jungle has been so tantalizingly decorated with their tanned, lithe, curvy, half- naked bodies, slurp, yummy, (drool). Sigh. Emphasis on the sigh.My quest for this one differs from almost all the rest. This is a 2012 item and therefore still relatively new. Somewhere there must be people who would make a bundle out of a proper DVD release. I am not sure if such a release ever took place. Kindly inform me, fellow perverts!Hell, as long as there are girls running around looking like SHEENA, I'd be chasing after the DVD, and wincing about the bad acting/wasted plot line afterward. I'd have to go search on the Takealot and WantItAll sites again, but up till earlier this year, there was no luck.Addendum, still 30 April. Writing this review brought me luck, as I found the DVD offered on WantItAll immediately after submitting my sorry-ass review that was just a way of scouting for assistance from IMDb. It is hellishly expensive being from WantItAll imported through Amazon, but that's how it is. Will get to it later and will then review it a whole lot better. All these guys dissing it though, they knew perfectly damn well what they were getting into. You don't expect Meryl Streep in these kind of movies, so don't complain afterward. I was surprised to learn here that there is no nudity involved though, and did find that particular review helpful, and voted as such. I'll let this bit of wreckage keep floating about as a monument to an almost year-long search. Earlier today when I saw that pic on the site, I figured that looks like a DVD release, and shouldn't have even bothered here, but let it stand. Ah, now if only the Mighty Dollar will come down a bit and make my purchase easier. Oh, I hear you Americans laughing gleefully...And, oh yeah, a man is a fool. And girls make even bigger fools of us. But a lot of fun could be had. But sometimes, some men go too far while having fun by themselves in front of the screen (hinting now at darkly embarrassing sordid activities us menfolk are prone to), and then there's a bit of a messy accident, and they then don't own up to the fun they had, you just get sour reviews written a bit later... :)Addendum, 11 January 2015. Finally watched it. Movie is quite disappointing. Had it lived up to its trailer, but no... It seems everything good about the flick Went into the trailer. You need nothing more! Or, okay, there was a total vision as a back-up dancer in the fireside scene. She has the lithest body on film! She looks like the wind in the willows! Wow! But no speaking part. Cast looks like Fox Force Fifteen. Cali Danger is somebody to watch. But the only actress in the movie was the little girl who got shot for all her trouble. The picture has no audience involvement, we do not care about the characters. But I suspected as much and knew what I was letting myself in for, but the real disappointment was that the glamor itself wasn't anything more than that already seen in the trailer.To the reviewer from Alaska: It is also not explained why Inara is such a tough little bird. That punch in her stomach, that kick by one of the girls...

In fact, I kicked up my rating one full point just for Cali Danger. I can see why the producers fell in love with her and built a vehicle for her. If I had the resources, I sure would have made a fool of myself over her at a different point in my life, absolutely. Not sure if that's supposed to be her stripper name or something, but she is superb and really, really easy on the eyes.Oh, the movie. Right. It did lack a little cohesion, but I got that they were inspired by a "Kill Bill" - esque feel most notably in the opening sequence, but then they seem to have forgotten about it pretty quickly as the movie morphed into something else. To be frank, I would have been happy with 84 minutes of Cali posing, goofing around and delivering some monologues. She's just stunning.I think the best way to describe this film is lots of pretty girls, one smoking-hot, all-American, red-haired beauty and some vague plot devices that add up to a movie that is more compelling than literally hundreds of Hollywood crowd-pleasers that I couldn't stomach if they paid *me* 12 bucks, a large Diet Coke, and a box of Jordan almonds to watch more than 15 seconds of such as any Will Smith movie, any Morgan Freeman movie, any Ben Affleck movie, any Denzel Washington movie or any Jim Belushi movie, just to name a few off the top of my head.In summary, sure, it's lame, but you could do worse and it doesn't preach or try to deliver a social message and the girls are total babes.