Land of the Pharaohs (1955)

Truly Dreadful Film

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

One of those movie experiences that is so good it makes you realize you've been grading everything else on a curve.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

I had heard of this movie but I had never seen it : thanks to all-beneficent "Arte" for remedying this lack.The movie does not succeed in penetrating the laws, habits and beliefs of a culture far removed from ours, let alone in penetrating its heart and soul. By the same token it does not succeed in portraying a credible pharao Cheops surrounded by a credible court. (While we're at it, most of the actors and actresses look and sound ancient-Egyptian in the same way that I look and sound Inuit. And no, their weird-looking make-up in surprising shades of beige and brown doesn't help - on the contrary.) Don't be fooled by the thousands of extras walking around in authentic-looking peasant garments : it's a pretty safe bet that one can learn more about the civilisation of ancient Egypt by watching an opera by Tchaikovsky, taking a walk on a beach or cooking a pea soup. However, the movie does have one considerable charm : this is ripest, finest melodrama, with a lot of people chewing expensive and glamorous scenery while being really, really treacherous, really, really wise or really, really deluded. In other words, a must for viewers who possess a lively appreciation of mediocre art and enjoy seeing actors perform their heads off while a bonkers tale of megalomania ! treason ! slavery ! harem intrigues ! torture ! savage retribution ! unfolds. By the swinging teats of the hippopotamus goddess, don't tell me that I didn't warn you.

The one thing I did like about this was what everybody else hated... that there was no obvious good guy! That's what I loved when I first saw it at 7yrs old, and that's what I love now... all the 50's spectacle and nonsense, glamour and spangles, without the very 'disturbingly obvious' one faceted good guy.I found these silly people with their silly dialogues more real, as a consequence, even at that tender age.And I always was attracted to the macabre and gruesome, so the ending was perfect for me; I found it totally satisfying at the time. So much so, that I remembered the film and it's title for many years, after other, more polished films had faded.Silliness on a grand scale, and yet there is quite a dose of REAL flavour in there.

All you need to know about this is that it's about a pharaoh, the building of his pyramid to house his gold and vanity, and the scheming femme fatale that wants it for herself. And that it's dreadful as a film, the camera is lifeless, the story is a cartoon.Only in Hollywood could they afford a hubris of this sort; huge resources mobilized to prop an empty monument, flamboyant people in dresses pose, mingle and scheme, and no one here minded, going on the thought that the size of the thing will be enough for posterity to remember.The only upside is that Hawks wasn't an overly pious guy like DeMille so we have his overblown spectacle and camp but not the pontificating.

A captured architect designs an ingenious plan to insure the impregnability of tomb of a self-absorbed Pharaoh, obsessed with the security of his next life.This film has the distinction of being a commercial failure for Howard Hawks, causing him to take a break from movies (before coming back to make "Rio Bravo", which many consider his masterpiece). I can definitely see why this might not have resonated with audiences -- it is in a category that is hard to define.This is a good story, though, and well worth a watch. The twists and turns are interesting, and with a bit of a tweak here and there, it could have made a really good horror film (which I say as a compliment). Is it historically accurate? Probably not. But still a good tale of despotism and trickery.