2010: Moby Dick (2010)

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Its a thrilling movie but the CGI is bad and makes no sense. It also makes little sense to me that the female lead couldn't refuse to help the mad Ahab.

The Asylum V's Herman Melville in the Moby Dick Re-Dux.This is where I start to wave the B-Movie flag above my head and scream "Yeah!" There's a lot I like about this film... most of it being Bostwick's interpretation of Captain Ahab. There's a joyous insanity about it. I also liked the location. No longer onboard a ship we're placed in the confines of a submarine and actually get to take on the great white one in his own territory. Unfortunately, this doesn't work as well as it should.Not having read the Melville tome I cannot compare the two, though I do hope they stuck to the story; like they did with War Of The Worlds and The Day The Earth Stopped.Though, I do believe Bales did an admirable job of updating the story as well as changing the location to work within its confines. Of course, there are your usual Asylum staples, such as helicopters being taken out of midair... usually without damage to the beastie of the moment. Though I really did like the whale watchers tour scene, you know what's coming, but hey, you're still gonna love it.The acting, for the most part, is decent. And as I stated earlier, Bostwick has fun with Ahab. Though, I believe it's Renee O'Connor, of Xena and Hercules fame, who gets the short end of the stick. She is underused in this film and I don't believe that her character was meaty enough to compete with or complement that of Ahab.The other good part of the film is Moby Dick itself. There are some nice scenes where he's visible, such as the beginning on the ice. For 2010, it's passable... though it's starting to look a bit rough and cheap today. Though there is a good scene towards the end. A Navy man runs into the shallows of the beach, believing there's a chance of being saved. Unfortunately, we realise before he does that he's not in any shallows... as we see Moby Dick open his eye under the water. In one movement, he flicks the man into the air and catches him in mid-flight. The worst part is the budget. So, even though Moby looks okay, by the time we reach the finale the effects are looking laughable. The scene where Moby has a couple trapped behind a rock on the beach is one of the worst green screens I've seen.This isn't the best Asylum film I've watched, though it isn't the worst either. It's worth one watch just for Bostwick. So for fans of updated classics, The Asylum, and Barry Bostwick I would gladly recommend this for at least one viewing.

In the performance of a lifetime, Barry Bostwick proves what a truly great actor can do even in a film that trashes a literary classic. No piece of great literature deserves the fate that the novel Moby Dick suffers in this horrible production. Yet Bostwick may well be remembered in cinema history for his work in this film. With eyes that are clearly enhanced by a talented Hollywood plastic surgeon, he conveys the crazed, demented torment of Ahab as no actor ever has. His maniacal laugh chills the blood as one watches him masterfully interpret Melville's iconic character and incredibly make the role his very own. Barry Bostwick becomes Ahab, IS Ahab, in this production and it is as if the author had written the character with him in mind for the screen adaptation. Incongruous dialog is delivered with uncanny skill as archaic language is spoken in the modern setting of a 2010 model submarine. Few, if any other actor is so gifted that they are capable of delivering such profound lines in such surroundings with such convincing profundity and passion. The obsessive drive of Ahab is so real here that when Bostwick charges in a speed boat toward the gaping jaws of SyFy's version of a white whale, harpoon over his head, and crying out at the hated beast with his entire soul, it is something you will never forget. There are so many scenes of this kind where Bostwick almost sets the screen on fire with his brilliance that it would take an entire article to discuss them. Let it just be said that Barry Bostwick, the actor who so convincingly and movingly portrayed George Washington in the fine miniseries, surpasses everything else he has done in his career, for this is undoubtedly a powerful, jaw-dropping performance that will leave every viewer stunned beyond belief. While this SyFy movie is possibly the worst the network has ever produced, casting Barry Bostwick was brilliant and by accepting the role of Ahab, he has defined great acting in a piece of true artistry that will be forever remembered by those who appreciate an actor at the peak of his magnificence.

I am just glad that Herman Melville is not alive to see what they have done to his immortal tale of Ahab and his White Whale. I thought the film went over the top when they were using names like Ahab and Moby Dick, but when they added the character names of Starbuck, Queg Qheg, what really got me was the name of the submarine, U.S. S. Pequod, now that is just a little much. I am just glad that Herman Melville has been dead for over 100 years or he may come back from the grave and let us know what he thinks. At least they didn't have a character named Ishmael.Still, as bad as that is, I find the film compelling, maybe that's because I have such a craving for a stupid horror film. It's worth a watch if you don't expect too much from the film.