Piranhaconda (2012)

That was an excellent one.

Perfect cast and a good story

The acting is good, and the firecracker script has some excellent ideas.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

Movies like this are very difficult to rate. On one hand they are deliberately made to be awful and somehow deliberately acquire the status movies like The Room and Plan 9 get for being "so bad it's funny". Now I don't believe movies like this have that kind of charm to them but in my opinion when done right (...Whatever the hell THAT means) they can be a ton of fun to watch. This is one of them - Pirahnaconda.While on a B- movie shoot and a science expedition are in the jungle they come across a creature from ancient folklore that only comes out of hibernation every few decades a giant snake with razor-sharp teeth and other features of a pirahna to cause havoc and kill people. While this is happening both the only survivor of that science expedition (Michael Madsen) and the film crew survivors are kidnapped by domestic terrorists or something and soon they have bigger things to worry about such as the fact that 2 Pirahnaconda's are after them.If you know this kind of movie then you'll expect some goofy acting (at best) and having a really tongue-in-cheek tone as well as horrible special effects (to be fair, the Pirahnaconda doesn't look THAT bad... It doesn't look that good either) so for what it's going for - it's not that bad. If you have clear expectations in mind (if you don't the theme song sums it up - horrible, campy, yet fun)

While shooting a low-budget monster movie entitled "Head Chopper 3" in Hawaii, a film crew is terrorized by the titular creatures. These giant snakes are the result of an unholy union between a piranha and an anaconda. Heroic, handsome and well-chiseled stuntman Robert "Rib" Hillis (as Jack Black) attracts curvy brunette script girl Terri Ivens (as Rose) and sexy blonde B-movie actress Shandi Finnessey (as Kimmy Weston). The bikini-clad star is famous for her line, "Suck lead, you hillbilly butt nugget!" Also hanging around the Hawaiian Islands is mutant snake hunter Michael Madsen (as Robert Lovegrove). He wears a straw hat and steals reptilian eggs for profit and research. They are all kidnapped by gangsters. Even worse, they are all and hunted by the angry, hungry "Piranhaconda" (or is that "Piranhacondas"?). The monsters are not at all frightening, but they sure are funny. Director Jim Wynorski showcases a generous helping of tightly-attired bosom (or is that bosoms?). The title song is very cool.**** Piranhaconda (6/16/12) Jim Wynorski ~ Rib Hillis, Terri Ivens, Shandi Finnessey, Michael Madsen

Of course this is not a good movie! But what else did you expect from a movie called "Piranhaconda", about an half snake, half piranha, that loves to crush and eat people. At least everyone in this movie knew what they got involved with and never took things too seriously. This is often a good thing and it at least still keeps the movie somewhat fun and tolerable to watch.Basically all of these movies play out the same; a killer animal is on the loose and randomly kills a bunch of people you don't even care about, with always a guy and girl, who used to be or still are in love, trying to kill the creature. Really, once you have seen one of these Roger Corman/Syfy channel movies, you have seen them all and know actually how things are going to play out. They don't even attempt anymore really to come up with some original moments. And it also seems that all of these movies got shot at the same locations, no doubt because they were the cheapest to film at. It basically makes this movie just like any other one, that came out recently, done by Corman.People that enjoy movies will still get a kick out of it. There is plenty of cheese and camp to enjoy, coming from the hands of the actors and filmmakers. It isn't trying to be more than it is and it makes no assumptions about it that this is being even a remotely good movie. The one thing that always stands out about these movies, in terms of horrible quality, are its special effects. I don't know who keeps doing these special effects from his mother's basement on his home computer but it's absolutely horrible and I sincerely hope they start putting some more money and effort into it in the near future, since it will most likely make the movies less annoying and cringing to watch.And I really don't know what Michael Madsen is doing in this. He got top billing, probably because of his name and fame but in fact he is only being a supporting character, that could had been played by anybody really.Only somewhat watchable and enjoyable if you like cheesy bad movies. Everybody else will only be annoyed and amazed at how bad this movie in fact is.4/10http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/

There seem to be several plots and sub plots in this movie. 1) Professor Lovegrove is trying to find the snake that killed his Dad and scarf up the snake's egg. For what purpose? What else? To sell and make MONEY. As all scientists do when they discover some "creature". You will feel at home with the great Michael Madsen as the scientist as he as played in many films, and is a bit under utilized here.2) Local bandits capture visiting Americans for cash dollars in ransom money.3) An LA film director is making a horror film with his cast and crew. Fortunately, his casting director hired some very hot babes, like Rachel Hunter, Shandi Finnessey, Teri Ivens, and Christina DeRosa.4) A piranhaconda intent on wrapping her body around everyone in sight and killing them and eating them, writhes around the island.The only thing that drags this movie down is the CGI piranahconda. B films were better in the 50's and 60's when you only glimpsed at the crab monster or gorilla in a diving helmet.The head bad guy reminds me of the bad guy in Superman? I don't know his name, as I did not Tivo the movie, and am relying on IMDb. Sadly, some filmmakers don't include practicals: head shots of everyone. And, IMDb, could list cast members as bad guys, surfer girl, ditzy blonde, as we often don't remember their names if they are even mentioned in the movie.Back to our story: the piranahconda is killing people, the bad guys hold a few cast as hostages, Prof. Lovegrove is hot for the egg, and Talia is lounging on the beach. The film inter cuts between all the plots, as it heads for the exciting conclusion.As I have said before, thanks to Roger Corman helping these young filmmakers, and he is Executive Producer on this one. Remember it is up to the writer, director and cast to create good films. Roger is at least providing the funding for their efforts.So you will have to see the movie to find out how hostage takers, film crews, a greedy scientist, a curly blonde beach lounger, and killer reptiles all interact. It is worth a view.