KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (1979)

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

A brilliant film that helped define a genre

It’s an especially fun movie from a director and cast who are clearly having a good time allowing themselves to let loose.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Though the members of the group despised being in this movie (produced by the same guys who did Yogi Bear, The Flintstones...and Scooby Doo !), forget the cheesiness, the some-what bad dialogue, this is a comic book movie here. And a way to see the band KISS in its heyday as a truly original rock band, complete with masks and apparel. And yes, even Gene throws its tongue out ! Shout it out loud, don't take this movie seriously. Light entertainment and rock music. This wasn't meant to be a masterpiece and this is a movie worth the curiosity. Watch it for KISS.'Nuff said !

There's no point in trying to deny that Attack of the Phantoms (as the version I watched was called) is cheaply produced, horribly acted, poorly written, badly directed trash designed purely to help capitalise on KISS's popularity at the time: album and T-shirt sales are what this silly TV movie is really all about. But as a member of the KISS Army for over thirty years, and as a lifelong fan of bad movies, I can't help but enjoy this nonsense a little (OK, a lot) more than I probably should.The film takes place at a theme park (actually Six Flags Magic Mountain in California) where malfunctioning rides are threatening to seriously affect profits. In order to bring in the crowds, the park's owner arranges for popular rock band KISS to play several outdoor concerts. But when the park's head engineer, Abner Devereaux (Anthony Zerbe), is given the sack, he plots revenge, sending his robots to cause further trouble.KISS come to the rescue with their superpowers, battling numerous robots in the process (one of the advantages of having stars who wear face-paint is that they're easy to double in action scenes), but the band are eventually captured after their magical talismans are zapped with a laser by Devereaux. Trapped in a laser cage, Gene, Paul, Peter and Ace watch on helplessly as their robot doubles take to the stage and sing Rip and Destroy, a bastardised version of their hit Hotter Than Hell, in order to incite the audience to riot.Combining what little powers they have left, KISS are able to use telekinesis to get back their talismans, recharge themselves, and escape to battle their doppelgangers. Having destroyed the robots, the band proceed to belt out a proper KISS hit—Rock and Roll All Nite—much to the appreciation of their fans, and Devereaux, devastated by his defeat, turns into a catatonic vegetable.Best or worst scene (depending on your point of view): KISS are attacked by a gang of robotic, albino, monkey/werewolf monsters in silver jumpsuits (I kid you not!).7.5 out of 10 for the extreme cheeze factor, bumped all the way up to 10/10 for those great KISS songs (hits on the soundtrack include Beth, Almost Human, Shout It Out Loud, and I Stole Your Love, plus Love In Chains, Back In The New York Groove, That's the Kind of Sugar Papa Likes, and Mr. Make Believe from their solo albums).

There are those out there that are, for whatever reason, lovers of bad cinema. These individuals thrive on collecting the absolute worst motion pictures ever made purely because of their awfulness. For those people out there, KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park is like the holy grail. It's very easy to find movies that are downright horrible today as the quality of film as declined in the past decade or so (at least my opinion), but finding something like Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park from the late 1970s, considered by many to be a Hollywood golden age, is rare. Granted it premiered on television in the U.S., but in other parts of the world it was given a theatrical release. Whoever paid money in the theater to see this has my sympathies as it is without question, among the worst productions one will ever see. Amateurish isn't the right word to describe what a disaster this catastrophe is to KISS fans like myself. The only aspect of value is that depending on what cut is viewed, there is classic KISS music played throughout the picture. I will give it this though: there has never been sci-fi/musical/superhero adventure like this since. It is unique, but not in a good way. This is what almost destroyed KISS forever. You've been warned. 2/10

I gave this a 10 out of 10 for campiness. This is a fantastic homage to the 70's. The scenes at the amusement park brought back memories of going to Ponchatrain beach in New Orleans (torn down in 1984 to put up condos sadly) I remember watching this at Halloween time when it was shown on TV. If you want to see it in it's greatest, get the old video version with Peter Criss' lines voiced over by another actor. A bit of a friendly correction to the comment above. The song "Rip and Distroy" was an evil version of "Hotter than Hell". A bit of trivia. When Gene jumped over the fence, he k/o'ed one of the cameras.I've got the DVD of this movie and I still watch it occasionally. Good stuff.