Bordello of Blood (1996)

Too much of everything

i know i wasted 90 mins of my life.

Excellent and certainly provocative... If nothing else, the film is a real conversation starter.

The movie is made so realistic it has a lot of that WoW feeling at the right moments and never tooo over the top. the suspense is done so well and the emotion is felt. Very well put together with the music and all.

Tales From The Crypt :Bordella of Blood(1996) Starring:John Kassir, Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak, Angie Everhart, Chris Sarandon, Corey Feldman, Aubrey Morris, Phil Fondacaro, and William Sadler Directed By:Gilbert Adler Review Hello kiddies your pal the crypt-critic here let me tell about a film so disappointing it had barely any blood to show for. The film is about a detective named Rafe who is on the search for the brother of a woman named Kathryn. During his investigation he makes the discovery that the woman in charge of all the missing men are seductress vampires. He must stop these vampires from spreading their business and eating the entire town. The movies not so fun premise is not the kind of lusting vampire film that I would want to sink my teeth into, it just feels like their could have been more or something. But there is one amazing sequence at the end that I'm going to go into detail but let's just say it has something to do with water guns. This was the second Tales from the crypt movie that was ever released, the first being demon night which is my favorite so far, but bordello is more for the adult-watching lust having vampire horror viewers out there and it if that's your thing then you can really sink your teeth into this. But if I want vampire-action I'll stick with Fright night(both of them) and Bram Stokers Dracula and the Bela Lugose one. This tale from the crypt is not as impressive as the last one,but it does have it's moments. I'm giving Bordello of Blood a two and a half out of five.

Another tongue in cheek blood 'n' guts rampage this time including lots of tits 'n' ass too...so its pretty darn good then. An unoriginal vampire tale this time, set in a brothel with lots of ladies eating biker types much like 'From Dusk Till Dawn' or 'Vamp' but nowhere near as good.Plot is pretty standard but like the previous Crypt flick is does have a wonderful array of makeup and prosthetic effects all over the show with blood squirting and fangs flying, nothing you haven't seen before but it looks good. Casting is drab but does include 80's horror comedy star Sarandon and 80's teen star Feldman both of which raise the film slightly, Angie Everhart looks delicious as 'Lilith'.You know what your gonna get with this franchise so your either gonna love it or hate it. Personally I view these films as a great opportunity to see fantastic examples of hands-on horror makeup effects, normally without much CGI, plus they are always good fun on a no-brainer level.6/10

The only problem with this movie is Dennis Miller. Well, then there is Corey Feldman, O.K. the only two problems with this movie are Dennis Miller and Corey Feldman. The actual story, y'know, the story the producers should have gone with, is the story of the TV preacher played by Chris Sarandon and his deal with Angie Everhart's Lilith. That's the story, that's where all the life is. Dennis Miller seems merely inserted into the action, like he got some points in his contract where he gets his own movie in exchange for services to be rendered later, so he is retrofitted into some script, in this case a Tales From The Crypt thing. It all comes off so forced and superfluous to the plot. That and Dennis Miller has no charisma, he's is an unpleasant little man devoid of life and vitality. But you do get to see some titties.

I was surprised to notice that this flick has a low rating. Overall the movie wasn't bad at all. But you have to understand Tales From The Crypt. It is more black comedy than horror of course, starting with the crypt keeper. So many people out there find that guy annoying. He doesn't bore me, I was lucky to meet the crypt keeper in real life, John Kassir is his name, a really nice guy. Why is everybody on his back? The movie itself is never gory of course but it delivers a lot of blood and in this case a lot of nudity, if you have the full uncut version, here in Europe the movie is cut with 20 minutes. Just for the tits, weird. It's full of one liners just like the crypt keeper himself, when the master vampire, who works at a bordello, puts her tongue into a guys throat she goes search his heart with her tongue, of course he dies, and she said, men likes women who goes deep throat. Another example is cutting of the head of a guy by saying, I love men giving me head. and that's what most people hate about this movie, the one liners. I though it was a great movie, great effects and great performances, sad but true, when I visited LA I visited the church used in this film, never saw Lilith...