DOA: Dead or Alive (2007)

good back-story, and good acting

Am i the only one who thinks........Average?

Absolutely Fantastic

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

This is better than other computer beat-em-up adaptations like Streetfighter and Mortal Kombat. The plot makes more sense and is more interesting than either of those movies, while managing to stay closer to the original games. Essentially this is 'Enter the Dragon' with (lots of) women, though it lacks the dark and dangerous edge of that earlier movie. As ever, Cory Yuen does a good job with the many fight scenes, despite working mostly with non-martial-artists. The production has an expensive feel, and it's surprising that the budget didn't run to more impressive stars.The main attraction here is the procession of gorgeous super-feisty women, often wearing very little – pure exploitation, but this too is faithful to the original computer games, right down to the beach volleyball. Sadly, while looking good, these are not great actresses. Jaime Pressley is pick of the bunch – while not big enough physically for Tina Armstrong, she brings a personality which fills the screen. Devon Aoki never brings much personality to anything, but this may well be her best performance after DEBS. Holly Valance, sadly, is barely an actress at all and the male support is pretty drab, with Steve Howey as a stereotyped nerd the pick of a bad bunch. Anyone who knows who Kevin Nash is should get a laugh from his performance as Bass. It's disappointing that, after the female leads have been built up well early on, they then spend too much time sidelined, while various dull and characterless men fight one another.Fans of the games may enjoy this. Anyone who enjoys watching half-dressed women fighting will too. For others it's good mindless fun, but don't go out of your way.

That's because it's possibly the worst film ever made. I implore you never to waste your time watching this garbage. I would certainly never watch it multiple times over the years, let alone own it on DVD. Honest.I thought I'd review 'DOA: Dead or Alive' on (about) my fourth viewing. I felt such a work of art requires numerous screenings to truly understand such a complex structure and narrative. Okay, I'm joking – this is simply a guilty pleasure film of mine. I've never played the computer game that it's based on, but, from my experience, pretty much no film based on a computer game has ever been hailed as a masterpiece. This one is no different. The dialogue is extremely clunky. Every line for about the first half hour is designed to inform us of each character's relationship and (slim) motivations for doing whatever the hell they're going to do.Talking of characters, they're about as two dimensional as the pixelated sprites that they're based on. Don't expect any great development in this story. Ah, yes, the story. Well, if you don't know 'Dead or Alive' is based on a 'one-on-one' fighting games, so there's not much story to talk of. The film is basically the same – a trio of ridiculously brilliant fighting women gets invited to a tournament called 'Dead or Alive' (where no one actually dies – if you're looking for a computer game to film where they die – try (the first) 'Mortal Kombat' film!). It just so happens that our three central protagonists are also extremely attractive, therefore we're supposed to root for them. And, whereas their dodgy dialogue can be excused due to their physical appearance, Eric Roberts' performance is not afforded the same luxury – for he's the evil mastermind in charge of setting up the tournament and intends on stealing the three girls' powers for his own. He's about as threatening as the green silk lounge suit he wears through this film.What follows is a series of fights, nicely choreographed, but also completely unrealistic, involving our annoying attractive heroines. Um, and that's about it. If you're a teenage boy you'll probably love this and long for the day that your girlfriend will be just like the girls on film. Alternatively, if you're someone like me who also likes it and won't admit to liking a film as bad as this, you'll also love it (and just not tell anyone).It is bad. There's no mistaking how bad it is, but it also has an audience of faceless guys who will make sure that it gets repeated viewing – and it's not because their X-boxes are broken and they need their fix of a fighting game.

Of all the genres of video games adapted for the silver screen, by far the most disastrous has to be to the beat-em-up (assuming that we forget the mess that was "Super Mario Bros."). Movies are supposed to have plot and character development, rather than a bunch of different arenas and costumes. The Dead Or Alive games occupy a strange place within the genre, speaking as someone who doesn't really get beat-em-ups. Street Fighter had the vast list of cast and special moves to master, Mortal Kombat had the digitised avatars and bloody finishing moves. DOA, meanwhile, boasted that the graphics engine could "realistically" show boobs moving about and boy, did they move about! The movie adaptation is under no illusion that it only has to appeal to young boys on the cusp of discovering girls and frankly, if you don't match that description then this will depress, underwhelm or entertain you with its crude laughs or a combination of all three.DOA itself is your standard fighting tournament, organised on a mysterious tropical island with a variety of oddball combatants and a $10 million prize fund for the winner. Each contestant is invited by tournament organiser Donovan (Eric Roberts) to attend, having been judged to be masters of their particular fighting style. For Princess Kasumi (Devon Aoki), it is a chance to find her apparently dead brother and fellow warrior Hayate (Collin Chou). Master thief Christie (Holly Valance) has her eyes on a bigger prize with her on-off partner Max (Matthew Marsden) while retired professional wrestler Tina (Jaime Pressly) sees the DOA as a chance to prove that wrestling isn't fake. As the tournament progresses, it becomes clear that our three heroines must work together to overcome a much greater threat than any of their opponents thus far.Assuming that you're still interested by this point, "DOA: Dead Or Alive" does nothing to remedy the woeful track record of video game adaptations. It isn't as bad as a Uwe Boll effort - there is almost an excess of spit-and-polish as characters carry out "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"-style moves with alarming regularity. I can't comment on how close to the originals their movie counterparts are but most characters fit into one of four categories: bikini babe, muscle-bound meat-head, generic ninja and other. Retaining the rampantly sexist element, the film has almost as much gratuitous shots of Valance, Aoki, Pressly and Sarah Carter as it does fight scenes but neither the teasing nudity or the overly-familiar carnage has the slightest bit of context. There isn't a single shot in this movie you haven't already seen elsewhere with the possible exception of Roberts throwing away the rest of his career. His ridiculous performance is probably the worst of the lot although Aoki pushes him close, being a charisma-void in the middle of the picture. Carter does OK compared to the rest of the cast but isn't given nearly enough to do besides a couple of fight scenes and oh yes... wear a bikini.I imagine that fans of the game might enjoy this as will the afore-mentioned pre-pubescent boys that "DOA: Dead Or Alive" strives to appeal to but personally, I found this film about as clever as smashing my own face in with a frying pan. Why is the code to Donovan's secret vault tattooed onto the back of the neck of one of the contestants? Why does bamboo slice perfectly when a sword goes through it but during a fight, becomes as tough as scaffolding (and sounds like it too)? Why did the computer nerd and comedic device Weatherby (Steve Howey) stick around after discovering the evil scheme at the heart of the tournament? Why was nothing explained about the purple-haired warrior Ayane (Natassia Malthe) trailing Kasumi and what exactly did she do in the film? Why did all the tournament contestants have to parachute onto the island instead of taking a boat? Because director Corey Yuen thinks it looks cool and that's the end of it. "DOA: Dead Or Alive" feels cheap, nasty, repetitive and frankly, a little seedy. If you're looking for brainless thrills or a bad movie that you could easily provide your own commentary on then this will do the trick. Everyone else should keep well away - this is about as much fun as rebooting your Xbox.

Let's be clear up front, this is a terrible movie. The plot makes marginally more sense than Mortal Kombat, the acting is a miss, but truth be told the characters are written so flatly that everyone is actually bringing their A game.Look, this is a FIGHTING video game movie! Watch the pretty girls fight and play volleyball; try not to pay too much attention to the plot and bring a 12-pack...good times had by all.Positives: Devon Aoki, Sarah Carter. The entire volleyball sequence, and Christie and Helena's fight.Negatives: somebody call Paul Scheer because HOW DID THIS GET MADE?Final thoughts. Ladies and gentleman, in this world of flame wars and arguing about the merits of movies like Avatar we must accept that there are good movies and entertaining movies...this is an entertaining terrible movie.