Hatchet (2006)

Good concept, poorly executed.

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

I almost like it but I end up not caring for it. It's not a rant or a positive review or a meh review too. The story is easy to follow if you're a fan of gore or watch 100 horror movie with the same story, the acting is meh, and it's not too clithè. They're some clithè here and there but they limit it. The worst part about this movie is how the script feels empty, that's my main problem. I like how the killer is based on Jason Voohrees but without a mask. At least it was better than Black Christmas (2006) and the disapointing Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Begining (2006). I watch it because I thought it was The Shinning (1980) but I didn't do research what The Shinning is. It's hard to think if it's good or not because it's forgetable and that's why I don't have a opinion on it. That's my review of The Hatchet (2006) so yeah, I don't care about the film.

2003 was a rough year for horror icon Kane Hodder. The official actor of Jason Voorhees since 1988 with his take on the character being without question the definitive fan favorite, Hodder was forced to hand the mask over to Ken Kirzinger for the long anticipated and incredibly hyped "Freddy v.s Jason." The unceremonious and frankly disrespectful dumping was a blow to Hodder, who would go on to mostly do stuntwork and small cameo appearances in various films after being let go as Jason. That was until 2006, when Hodder was cast as the first (And only) actor to play the deformed ghoul Victor Crowley for Adam Green's new horror franchise "Hatchet." While I can't speak to how much the role has eased the sting of being dropped as Jason Voorhees for "Freddy v.s Jason", I can certainly say that it should. "Hatchet" is right up there with the very BEST of the "Friday the 13th" films in terms of quality.Kane Hodder himself is positively terrifying as Victor Crowley. I'll go so far as to say he's the most terrifying killer in slasher movie history. Make no mistake, Victor is a very different character than Jason, and Hodder plays him accordingly. Crowley is far more manic, excited and sadistic in his mannerisms; be it his walking, his facial expressions (Crowley's deformed face often has a twisted smile to it that is downright chilling) or his killing. For Jason, killing teens was just his job. Victor genuinely seems to take pleasure in slowly and painfully dispatching his victims.And slow and painful those dispatchings are..."Hatchet" is one of the bloodiest, nastiest slashers I've ever seen. People are decapitated, chopped in half, slowly disemboweled from the back, de- armed, split down the face, impaled on the blunt ends of shovels...I could go on, but you get the point. It's gory, it's gross, it's foul...And it's freaking awesome. The creativity and downright grossness of the violence in this movie just makes the whole film that much more entertaining.It helps that we actually CARE about Crowley's potential and actual victims. Joel David Moore is quite likable and VERY funny as Ben. He's proved in the past to be somewhat of a saving grace even for the worst movies, so it's refreshing of him to see him at his best in a great one. Parry Shen is another talented actor burdened with starring in mostly terrible film, and like David Moore, he's downright hilarious as scam-artist-sailor Shawn. Richard Rihehle and Patrika Darbo are adorkable as the Permatteos, a midwest couple quite out of their element in the killer stalked swamps of New Orleans. By far the best non-killer performance has to go to Deon Richmond as Marcus, who DESPERATELY deserves more work. He's the most likable of the cast and gets some of the biggest laughs in the film (The tree scene is comedic GOLD), if there's anyone I wanted to survive the movie, it was him.The story is quite simple, but the script and characters make it quite apparent fairly quickly that this is partly a loving satire of the "Friday the 13th" films. It's not just the actors who know they're in a kitschy horror film, the characters know it too. When we laugh at the absurdity of lines like "You look like you been molested by wolves!", we're laughing WITH the movie, not AT it.If you hadn't guessed by my comments on the cast, "Hatchet" is a horror-comedy, and it works extremely well in both the scares and laughs department. The already gifted cast are helped by a very funny script and a director who clearly respects his cast's talents, leading to a very complete comedic experience. That said, when the film is going for downright horror, it can be just as effective; the swamps of New Orleans are unsettling enough, but made more so by some excellent, dark, uncomfortable lighting. It's ugly to look at, but there's no doubt this was director Adam Green's intention...And have I mentioned yet how scary Hodder is as Victor Crowley?"Hatchet" is a MUST watch for any horror fan nostalgic for the "good old days" of slasher movies. It's not a perfect movie, but it IS a perfectly entertaining one. I DARE any so called "slasher fan" to watch this movie and NOT have fun.

i watched this movie years ago, and it was one of the only movies i wouldn't read reviews on before i watched... randomly came across them recently... I've only read like the 10 most recent reviews of this movie and they honestly just annoy me. first of all... why years after this movie was made, let everyone know that because of all the hype you decided to watch it...?anyone expecting Hatchet to be anything more than just straight up ridiculous gory fun is a complete idiot. Green himself doesn't understand why it was depicted as the next era of horror, or an homage to old school slashers. a director who enjoys horror movies to the fullest, came up with an entire new serial killer, with a very classic background story, wrote a hilarious script filled with horror stereotypes and clichés, and just buckets and buckets of blood... what more could you ask for? what more could you want?how about everyone just calm down. sit back. and just give it a chance. i thoroughly enjoyed hatchet, and both sequels.(there are a few icons in this movie, do you think they would be in it for no reason?)

Nowadays it's kind of rare when you get a straight forward bloody slasher film, such as the Evil Dead remake! Which was ace!The film is basically about a group 20 somethings, who go on a swamp lake tour, run by a wannabe con artist or such, & find themselves stranded in the swamp forest with a deformed vicious killer by the name of Victor Crowley is lurking within the swamp! When he was younger, he got picked on by kids & teens! One night, some trick or treaters start a fire by the door to try & get Victor out the cabin. Unfortunately when his father tries to save him, accidentally whacks a hatchet in his face killing him instantly when he was up against the cabin door! Since then he's been killing anyone venturing in the swamp!The kills in the film were quite good! Bloody & vicious just the way it should be done! Not to mention, very unique in how the kills were executed! 1 out of 5 of the rarest things in bloody slashers today or horrors in general!The characters were also good! Noticed quite a few familiar faces in the Horror World! Tony Todd, from the Final Destination Franchise & Robert Englund from the A Nightmare On Elm Films! Along with other characters I recognise from Horrors films I've seen over the years!The story-line was good! Straight-forward, but not so bad! Wasn't so keen on the ending mind you! Couldn't help but think it was going to be one of those female soul surviver crap! Dose my head in, but I wasn't sure about the ending, it was kind ruined in a way! But it wasn't half as bad as other crappy ass endings to films!The killer himself was well done! Tall, built & very deadly! Overall this film was quite good! Had a slight feeling it would be good!9/10