Autopsy (2009)

Crappy film

I am only giving this movie a 1 for the great cast, though I can't imagine what any of them were thinking. This movie was horrible

Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

"Autopsy" was apart of the After Dark Horror Fest 3 which was a collection of eight movies released in 2009. Keeping with my current theme of movies featuring insane doctors and medical madness, "Autopsy" fits the bill with mixed results. With an extremely simplistic plot and generic characters, all the movie has to offer is shock value. Most of it is pretty creative and gross but still unable to support any sort of story.A group of college kids are partying at Mardi Gras having a fun time, but when they get back on the road to wherever they're going next they accidentally hit a man in a hospital gown who comes running out of the woods. A few moments of panicked arguing and finding out their cell phones can't get any reception an ambulance shows up out of nowhere. Hesitant at first but the paramedics take the kids back to an eerily empty Mercy Hospital to get checked out. An older nurse runs the show up front as Dr. Benway takes care of thing behind closed doors.In typical horror movie fashion they are quickly split up, some just wander off to explore the dark and spooky building, while others are taken by the orderly to be fodder for the doctors experiments. Emily is the girl we follow the most and will undoubtedly be the final girl who will have to fight for her life against the doctor and other crazies. When things start to go bad Emily is able to call for help and a lone police officer shows up. Its no surprise that he doesn't last more than a few scenes before he is taken out. The character of Dr. Benway is pretty weak and uninspired for being the main bad guy. He is not scary, threatening, or all that interesting. He has a very thin and clichéd back story and most it leads up to a few shocking gore filled scenes at the end. The gore and effects as I have said are pretty good, but this is a strictly by the numbers horror film that will drift off into obscurity. One final note for those interested the film was scored by Joseph Bishara, who has most recently done the two "Insidious" movies.

Alright, first there was Turistas (2006), Captifs (2010), The Harvest (1992), Coma (1978), Hospital Massacre (1982) and They Came From Within (1975). Way too many disturbing yet incredibly bad medical movies with the same elements and themes. Well, now here's this rather pathetic movie, Autopsy, with very little, if anything, to offer.The plot is typical of today's generation, a group of badly dressed girls and sleazy guys who talk about nothing but sex and booze end up crashing their car and hitting a guy in the road. Suddenly a very convenient ambulance arrives, taking everyone to a hospital supposedly shut down, where a 50's style nurse and creepy doctor along with goons who look as though they've just broke out of prison are all the staff. At first things seem normal enough... but then all hell breaks loose when the group begins to disappear to meet their horrible demises.So just what makes this film so bad? Well, I'll start with the acting. Not one character in the movie has much as far as a unique personality, in fact they're so generic that it's fake. They act like they just stepped out of a pornographic movie, making sex references, getting extremely drunk at a Marti Gras party in the intro and always swearing. It's to the point where it's very unrealistic and the acting itself is terrible. The special effects were really lame and the plot had too many flaws to make the film creepy.My advice, just watch this if you're bored or if you want to laugh at how pathetic it is. There are better films out there.

American film-makers should stick to proper horror films, and leave the senseless sadistic butchery to the French. There is nothing easier than writing endless torture into a script, using it as a cover-up for a thin plot; the trick is to write a real story with unpredictable twists and original turns, because anyone can think of a million ways in which to harm and destroy the human body. Any moron could have written this.Even a shoddy mediocrity such as this needs to make up its mind whether it wants to be a supernatural horror or not. These in-between horror flicks, that are neither supernatural nor reality-based, want to have their cake and eat it too, and because that isn't possible they always turn out to be stupid. There are only four humans running the entire hospital (which is dumb enough in itself), and yet some of them behave like zombies or vampires, being immune to all sorts of assaults, possessing superhuman strength; the usual wishy-washy gobbledygook one has come to expect from the torture-horror crap sub-genre.Plenty of other nonsense here - not to mention every horror cliché in the book: 1) the sudden "help me!" cry from a person leaning on the window of a locked cell/room, 2) "the phone doesn't work, there is no signal here" shtick, a plague in modern horror films, 3) the daft cop who comes to investigate and very predictably gets killed, 4) the bad guys that appear out of nowhere (as if possessing both telepathy and clairvoyance), 5) the almost cartoon-like cat-and-mouse game, she's captured – she's free – she's captured – she's free again – she's re-captured – she frees herself yet again, and many other examples of blatant unoriginality.I don't see how anyone could have failed to foresee from the very start of the movie (without needing the power of clairvoyance) that the (very attractive) brunette was going to be the only survivor of the bloody piffle that is about to transpire. I wish that some of these lame-ass horror writers would for once break out of the generic-formulaic box in which they reside and actually give us unpredictable characters and events. By that I mean moments such as the utterly stereotypical final scene in which Doctor Frankenstein once again resurrects from the dead – without being either a zombie or a vampire. Moronic B-movie fluff.On the positive side, the classic abandoned hospital may be yet another cliché but it's the right setting for a horror film, and both of the movie's young women are good-looking (which I don't take for granted these days).

This isn't a masterpiece of horror of course, but for what it was, still very entertaining. Of course, when it comes to trash the only trash in genre that I can see is horror films, just because there's always something to be enjoyed. But as it is the film wasn't as trashy as I expected, and was actually damn effective. The gory scenes are pretty well-done and some of them truly horrifying. There are some effective jump scares as well, mostly due to the editing and music. There is a scene in the end that is truly a sight to behold, one involving the lead and her boyfriend that made it all even more worth it. As a huge horror fan, I do recommend this.