Alfie (2004)

Lack of good storyline.

Better Late Then Never

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows

If you grew up idolizing Michael Caine in 1966's Alfie, or have already seen that version before the remake was released, you probably won't like the 2004 version. If you belong the modern generation and have never seen the original Alfie, you won't really be that phased by the remake. There's a very simple reason why the remake didn't work: the story isn't shocking anymore.Back in the sixties, a man who slept around with countless women and didn't commit to any of them was a cad. If he got a girl pregnant and refused to marry her, he was despicable. Nowadays, that type of behavior is normal. Men and women have casual sex without a second thought, and pregnancy isn't the drastic life-changer it used to be. Abortions are more readily available and less taboo and scary, so if a girl is faced with the prospect of being an unwed mother, it just doesn't have the same dramatic pull as it did in 1966.There are countless films in this modern era that showcase, if not glorify, a man's collection of bedroom partners. In 1966, Alfie was revolutionary and instantly made Michael Caine a household name. The remake just isn't the same, despite the filmmakers' attempt to shock audiences by including an interracial relationship.That being said, if you like Jude Law, there's nothing wrong with his performance, and he does look awfully handsome in this movie. If you're in the mood for a light comedy—with a couple of scenes that attempt to be dramatic—with lots of good-looking people sleeping together, you can rent Alfie. Just don't expect it to stick with you like the original did.Kiddy warning: Obviously, you have control over your own children. However, due to sexual content, I wouldn't let my kids watch it.

This is a clever little film, intricately designed to appeal, I think, to certain women. It works so well on so many levels as a chick flick that one is left wondering, at the end, why it was so uninspiring even on that level. But, for me at least, that was the bottom line - a gorgeous film, full of gorgeous models, that ultimately caters only to the eyes and not the head.Jude Law is magnificent, perfectly cast (for the burden placed on him here, at least) as the ultimate chick magnet. Boyish, winning smile, perfectly composed at all times, handsome as a male model. His menial job doesn't matter in this fantasy world, all that counts are his classically good looks, that's his ticket. A very stereotypically feminine sensibility, if you will, as I don't think many of us know of men in our own lives who can get along like that - that is more a given of the female of the species. You almost half believe, while he rides around (beautifully shot) Manhattan on his adorable little moped, that female models actually do compose the entire sidewalk population. Naturally, they have nothing else to do but turn from whatever they are doing so they can gaze on Alfie's awesomeness. Here's a thought - put a female model on a cute little moped cruising Manhattan and that might actually be realistic.Which leads me to my main point. The whole thrust of this film is that Alfie is meant to be seen from a womanly perspective. It is the female gaze they are pandering to, not the standard male gaze. That's the trick - switch everyone's gender, and suddenly the light switches on. The women in the audience are meant to put themselves in Alfie's shoes. Once that is accomplished, the whole thing makes perfect sense and serves as a Nice Moral Lesson.Well, for sure. But the picture only gets lovelier. Alfie lives for women, and serves as their no-questions-asked lover of the moment. He fatally supposes that romance/sex/love has no consequences, but - egad, shocker! - it does. Dropping women like flies after seducing them eventually catches up with him. Oh, my! So, we have the perfect set-up to comfort every woman: Mr. Irresistible who callously breaks hearts before breakfast is actually weak like everyone else, and has feelings, and is susceptible to emotional dramas and manipulations. Well, ladies, we can't leave him blissful in his cruel ignorance! The film becomes a meditation on the comeuppance of somebody who is aggressively shallow, and whose fatal crime is that he knows how shallow he is the whole time and Just Doesn't Care. Criminal serial feelings offender! It's all about the emotions, baby. Hurt peoples' feelings and you will rue the day.Alfie takes his "girlfriend" for granted and loses her - and when of course he realizes how much he needed her, it's too late, she's with someone else who is just simply to die for. Isn't this every "mistreated" woman's fantasy? Heartlessly dump another one who's not worthy - and she summarizes his character a little too perfectly as she plays the martyr and pathetically leaves in the cold and rain (you better feel guilty now, boy!). His fantasy figure turns out to be a sophisticated much older woman (cough cough audience fantasy fulfillment cough cough), but she serves up to him what he had been serving up to others - wow, couldn't see THAT one coming. The big twist(s) at the end is hardly worth the wait, but perhaps some will see this as "deep." If so, it would be the only such moment in the film. "I took advantage of women and didn't give, only took, and that is a bad thing which leaves me a fancy-pants loser" - what Solomonic wisdom.At heart, the moral of the film - if you want to dignify it as such - is that drifting through life as if it were a fast-food meal ultimately is unsatisfying. Fair enough. But the character of Alfie becomes uneven, set up as so insightful, perceptive and knowledgeable about so many things relating to women and relationships in order to seduce them, yet ultimately blind to the perfectly obvious consequences of his dark designs. Making the cultured Alfie appear simplistic at the end when he needs to be because finally he is on the receiving end is done in grotesquely ham-handed fashion. Suddenly, Alfie is shown to be so uneducated that he never learned how to pronounce the word "Aphrodite." Oh, you poor, uncouth loser. The perceptive fellow who has been giving us the (eventually tedious) running monologue throughout the film, shading delicate situations with extreme subtlety while he spins his evil (from a female perspective, natch) little webs turns out to be our inferior, hopelessly beneath us! Yay, now burn him at the stake!It was a nice touch having Mick Jagger do the score. Someone behind the scenes had a good chuckle about that. Hope you didn't sprain your wrist patting yourself on the back! Hey, he sang backup on "You're So Vain," too, so this isn't the first time. If you want obvious, well, this will hit the spot.I didn't like the film. It said nothing to me, can you guess? But it may make you feel good for a spell, waiting for little Mr. I'm So Vain to get it in the end (no, not THAT way). The saving grace is that "Alfie" is so full of beautiful people, and things, and situations that it is easy on the eyes. Plus, it doesn't require any thought, everything is s-p-e-l-l-e-d o-u-t for you. You know, like A-p-h-r-o-d-i-t-e. Burger and fries with a diet coke! So, if you like Jude Law and all that jazz, well, give this one a whirl.

Moving from Britain to Manhattan, dashing Jude Law (as Alfie Elkins) begins to sample a variety of New York's finest women. He's got sweet 'n' pretty Marisa Tomei (as Julie) serving as girlfriend while continuing "one night stands" and other affairs. Since Mr. Law won't commit, Ms. Tomei wants a more stable mate. To replace her, Law shacks up with smokin' Sienna Miller (as Nikki), who goes topless for the camera. But, sexy Susan Sarandon (as Liz) also commands Law's attention; she likes younger men. And, Law gives luscious Nia Long (as Lonette) a whirl on the pool table, even though she's best friend Omar Epps (as Marlon)'s fiancée.Director Charles Shyer's "Alfie" is a great looking film, with wonderful cinematography by Ashley Rowe and editing by Padraic McKinley. Mick Jagger sings the appropriate "Old Habits Die Hard". Much of the film is pure eye candy - not only the sexy cast, but also scenes like the beautifully lighted street Law walks down after receiving good news from the doctor. Watch for it after Law splashes in some rain puddles. Still, the story is a little lame, considering how times have changed since Michael Caine's original "Alfie" (1966). Herein, Law gets "E.D.", and a feminine doctor is able to get it up again. What's that all about, Alfie? ****** Alfie (10/22/04) Charles Shyer ~ Jude Law, Marisa Tomei, Sienna Miller, Susan Sarandon

Actually, I think this is an excellent movie, and that with time critics will appreciate just how remarkable it is. First, it is a rarity in that it successfully updates an original that, while ahead of its time at its release, now plays like a period piece. The original explores the limitations and pathos of a man trapped in the uncertainty and personal anarchy of the 1960s sexual liberation—a liberation we now take for granted. This remake explores pathos of many men who fail to achieve an ethics of love and sex in the 21st century in light of that liberation.Michael Caine's Alfie is brought up short by the discovery that a carefree love life exacts a great price. He just can't swallow that rude truth. Jude Law's Alfie isn't fazed that there's a price—everyone in 2005 knows that. He's thrown by the realization that he's missing something fundamental in life, and worse yet, he lacks the equipment to understand what that something is. It's not that he can't face the truth—he's willing to face it, but he doesn't know how to look for it. I know quite a few men like this, and similar to Law's Alfie, they're not horrible people. They want to do the right thing and they want to find love. But they've never learned the vocabulary of love—it's as if everyone who has found it is speaking a foreign language. They've divorced themselves from the rest of us, or we've divorced them, which amounts to the same thing. That's why this film seems strangely empty—this Alfie can't even connect with people well enough to tell us what's really wrong with him.Law does a very good job portraying this lost soul, with only occasional awkwardness or unsubtlety. And the cast of women gets it exactly right, down to the last detail. The pacing and narration, purposely anachronistic—hearkening to "simpler" times—is flawless. And yes, it is a very beautiful film, visually and musically. Come back to this movie in six or eight years, or after age forty, and you'll see its value.