The Pyramid (2014)

Sadly Over-hyped

Dreadfully Boring

A lot of fun.

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

The human characters are all trite and irritating, but the creatures are the stars and make this movie worth watching. The pyramid itself is somewhat intriguing and the backstory passable. A few gruesome parts. I kept expecting Indiana Jones to show up and save the day! If you enjoy monsters, be sure to check it out.

You know how sometimes "Reality" shows and "documentary" programs feel not only fake, but outright silly? Well, imagine a Found Footage / Mockumentary film that attempts to mimic these shows instead of actual documentaries. That's exactly how The Pyramid feels.The plot and story are basically the most basic use of the all too familiar template. A group of explorers find "the discovery of the century!", are told to drop the project on account of it being too dangerous, but no, they can't, for the sake of science and all of humanity! Shockingly, things go from bad to worst, and now instead of struggling to have their name attached to the discovery, they struggle to escape with their lives.Another thing one simply can't overlook is the film's inability to decide its own genre. It appears to be Found Footage until the point where it's no longer convenient, so the director decides to cheat. Very unprofessional and annoying, Mr. Grégory Levasseur.The one thing I can say I liked about this film is the antagonist. Its appearance and characteristics are the only thing resembling creativity and an attempt at being original, and even the downright amateur level CGI can't spoil that. Other than that? Low level writing, low level directing, low level film. If you're a fan of this "dangerous archaeology" type of film, you might enjoy this enough to not feel your time had been wasted. In any other case - this one is simply not worth the trouble.

I decided to seek out this movie after seeing "As Above so Below" (a film that admittedly isn't that great, but manages to pull of a good sense of atmosphere, despite its many shortcomings), hoping that I'd be at least treated to some interesting or surprisingly good visuals. I've known that I've exhausted my supply of what I constitute as successful films in the horror genre, so if there are any that even slightly peek my interest, I'll give them a shot. This movie is just an absolute disaster. Not only as a horror film completely filled to the brim with the same trite clichés that have taken over the genre in recent years, but as a found- footage film as well. I'm not a fan of the sub-genre, as I feel it promotes laziness, bad cinematography and stories completely riddled with holes. That being said, the found- footage element of this movie is done so badly, that I have to take note of it. Found-footage dictates that a sequence of events presented in the film's narrative are to be 'unedited' or 'raw' but there are so many characters with access to cameras that it presents a large set of problems. There are so many moments where, as a viewer, you cannot tell who the hell is filming the action taking place, and there are even moments of idle cameras looking at ALL the characters, meaning no character within the story is operating said camera, taking the disbelief of the entire situation even further; an essential element that found-footage films try to preserve, the reality. At one point in the movie, perhaps a first within the found-footage sub-genre of horror, there was even the presence of a scored soundtrack, which had me in shock. Other complaints were that the acting was below sub-par, the characters were all insufferably irritating and irrational (not to mention they had no presence whatsoever), the cgi monsters looked like total garbage and most importantly the story was just plain lazy, uninteresting and sloppy as all get out. The horror genre is a very fluid and dynamic one, and as a genre, it has so much potential, but it's a shame that year after year, the film-makers within it always resort to putting out the same incredibly predictable, unoriginal and poorly-made trash. At least there are a few gems within the genre in recent years that give me some hope, showing that horror isn't now completely without merit, but they are far and few between.

Let me preface my review of this nonsense by saying that I am a fan of the horror genre, and more specifically, the "creature feature" sub-genre within the horror universe. I'm also a huge fan of the "found footage" style of filmmaking when it is done correctly, as it can add a layer of realism that cannot be found elsewhere. The reason i'm prefacing with these statements is to show that, despite all the negativity surrounding it, "The Pyramid" was a movie I thought I might enjoy. Unfortunately for me and my precious time, this was not the case. I could go into a verbose, analytical breakdown of why this movie is so bad but I won't, simply because this movie does not deserve the time or effort. I'm only writing this review so that I will, hopefully, save some of you folks an hour and twenty-nine minutes of precious time which can be spent doing something far more enjoyable. The script of "The Pyramid" is ludicrous, filled with horror clichés which have been rehashed a thousand times over, and none of which are done even remotely well. The special effects utilized in this film rely heavily on CGI, which in turn severely diminishes the realism the director was going for with the "found footage" style. The CGI isn't particularly good, either; scenes in which it is used feel overly cheesy and quite unrealistic. The painful special effects, along with bad writing and acting that oscillates from mediocre to terrible, come together to form the laughably incoherent experience that is "The Pyramid". And laughable is what this film is, whether it was intended to be or not(it wasn't). I found myself having a few "lol" moments during scenes that were meant to be scary, which obviously detracts from the whole horror thing the movie was aiming for. If "The Pyramid" was a marksman and horror was the bullseye, then the bullet hit the trees somewhere behind the target. If you still intend to watch this movie after all this, then take solace in the fact that you should get a good laugh or two along the way. In the end, there is no reason to mince words; "The Pyramid" is a bad movie, no matter how you draw it up. Seriously, you could spend your time doing almost anything else and receive more gratification from it(prison seems to be the only notable exception I can think of at this very moment). Please don't do anything that will land yourself in prison folks. If you do, however, at least you will be free from exposure to this movie. I give "The Pyramid" a 3/10 simply because it is not the worst movie I've ever seen. That isn't exactly a ringing endorsement, either.