St. Trinian's (2009)

The Worst Film Ever

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Why oh why did this film company bother to even consider a remake of these classic British comedies? To be worth doing at all it needs to have some kind of originality with a totally new take on the whole story line. Not simply a pale pastiche with a play on the sexual innuendo of 'naughty schoolgirls' or as some kind of homage to the original films or their actors. This film and its sequel are complete and utter dross, any of the original four films are infinitely preferable to this rubbish. Rupert Everett is terrible in the dual role being far too camp and absolutely no Alastair Sim, and as for Russell Brand he is a travesty as Flash Harry and is not fit to stand in George Cole's shadow.

The opening scenes introduce us and new girl Annabelle Fritton to St. Trinian's School for girls; it isn't like other schools… the pupils run the place. Having come from the prestigious Cheltenham Ladies' College Annabelle is initially not impressed with the anarchy she finds in St. Trinian's but grows to fit in; especially after she learns that her father wants to have the place shut down and sold off. The school already owes half a million pounds to the bank so it looks as if it will close… if the girls can't think up a way to get the money. They have an idea but if they are to have a chance they will have to get to the finals of an inter-school TV quiz… because it will be filmed in the National Gallery and the picture they plan to steal is in there! It doesn't help of course that a new government minister wants to improve the education system, starting with St. Trinian's!I had heard some fairly negative things about this film but was determined to watch it with an open mind; I was soon chuckling and found plenty to laugh out during its hour and a half run time. It never took itself too seriously and the cast were a lot of fun to watch; Talulah Riley did a good job as protagonist Annabelle and even though she was a bit old to be playing a school girl Gemma Arterton was a lot of fun as head girl Kelly. There were plenty of well known British stars in the cast including Colin Firth, Rupert Everett, Celia Imrie and Russell Brand amongst the cast as well as a number of unknowns. The story was of course very silly but then it wouldn't have been St. Trinian's if it hadn't been. The first half of the film where we are being introduced to the school and seeing the minister's attempts to show the press how bad it is was the funniest; when it got to the art robbery the jokes slowed down a bit and the producers felt it necessary to show that under their act they were not bad girls… which is a pity as half the fun of St Trinian's is that they are meant to be bad! Overall I thought this was a lot better than expected and should provide a decent number of laughs.

This film is a lot more interesting if you are very familiar with Colin Firth, as it references some of his roles (Pride and Prejudice, and Girl with a Pearl Earring). There are scenes in the film that are exact duplicates, and the dog being named Mr. Darcy refers to his role.Of course the headmistress (Rupert Everett) is a dead ringer for a certain Duchess.I enjoyed Russell Brand as Flash, and I just loved Holly and Cloe Mackie as Tara and Tania. They were adorable.It was a enjoyable light comedy. A bit more edge and it would have been great.

ST. TRINIAN'S seems like an awful bust, unless the extremes of slapstick and borderline taste are your bailiwick. It is a film that comes across as a cartoon that never can get out off the page - what one would expect when the 'writer' is a committee (Piers Ashworth, Jamie Minoprio, Nick Moorcroft, Ronald Searle (!), and Jonathan M. Stern) and the direction is shared (Oliver Parker and Barnaby Thompson). St Trinian's is 'school' for dysfunctional girls (nerd to goth) run by a wild headmistress Camilla Fritton (Rupert Everett in bucktoothed drag plus fuddy English gent's clothes as Carnaby Fritton). The school is a major disaster zone and one Geoffrey Thwaites (Colin Firth) is sent to correct the issues. The threat of bankruptcy spins its own dire consequences and the 'inmates' of the school find a way to correct that. The major surprise is not in the plot but instead in the fact that some of Britain's finest actors agreed to participate in this mess: Rupert Everett, Colin Firth, Lena Headey, Toby Jones, Anna Chancellor, Celia Imre, etc etc could have their choice of about any film casting and win Oscars and kudos instead of boodos. It gives pause...Grady Harp