Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Thanks for the memories!

Boring, long, and too preachy.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

I don't know why people hate this movie. It may be the worst movie, but I think it's really good. The comedy, the spoofs, the scares and all of that sh*t. If they make another scary movie, I'll just get to watching it. I did miss Anna Faris and Regina Hall in the other ones, though. Whoever directed this movie, keep it up!

Scary movie 5, as a sequel, was a real disaster, especially, if compared to the really successful 1-4 counterparts. At the very beginning, the Sheen-Lohan sex scene started well till useless details were added which made this scene so monotonous. The other successive scenes which over-employed children made the movie even provocatively and non-amusingly shocking. Lots of scenes appeared to have the aim of stereotyping, to give few examples, the Latino housemaid metonymically indicated that Latinos foolishly and frequently appeal to God to rid them of superstitious-based troubles caused by their own clumsy nature. Blacks (Snoopy Dog) a drug addict outlaw, (Tyson) was even more foolish, the psychic was a dodger, thieve, and con, in addition to the black ballet dancer who couldn't even fit into the romantic art; though she was good in lascivious pole dancing. Scary movie 5 could be the worst movie in history ever.

Look, I'm not going to sit here and try to explain and justify my enjoyment of the first four entries in the long-running "Scary Movie" series. It's trash in every capacity, plain and simple. Cynical, trendy trash that only seeks to quickly capitalize on whatever is new or hip with filmgoing crowds through only the most base and lowest-common of denominators. Not a single film in the franchise could be called "art." And yet... I get a kick out of them. Particularly the second and third films, which were actually very amusing. They may be trash, but they're fun trash. Enjoyable trash. Entertaining trash. Trash with a charming cast and just enough chuckles to make them worth a go on a slow, rainy day at home. Yeah, you'll feel your IQ dropping during some of the stupider moments of those previous films, but they were never so bad as to be offensive or outright dismissed. Then there's "Scary Movie 5." ...whelp, this series was fun while it lasted, I guess.I'll level with you. This is one of those very rare occasions where even trying to force myself to watch a movie in order to be able to write a fair and balanced IMDb review, I just couldn't. I honestly was unable to. I had to start skimming through because the film was making me angry. Furious even. How could a series that was honestly never more than just silly, broad parody fall so hard, so quickly? It's shocking just how aggressively unfunny and tedious a film this is. Even by the midway point of the opening scene- a brutally prolonged "Paranormal Activity" parody involving Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan trying to make a sex tape- the humor had been completely sapped and it was running on fumes.And this downward spiral only continued with each passing scene, every awkwardly contrived pop-culture reference and all the nonsensical attempts at lampooning then-recent releases. Essentially a melding of "Mama", "Paranormal Activity", the rebooted "Planet of the Apes" series and "Black Swan" with a smattering of plot elements from other major films, the storyline is a fundamental mess, with only the most tenuous of connections to string together the constant barrage of shockingly dead on arrival humor. Yes, you could argue that the fourth film's combination of "Saw", "The Grudge" and "War of the Worlds" was messy and contrived... but at least it tried. This one can't even muster up the energy to do that.Story goes that the production was a bit of a mess, with upwards of half the film being hastily re-written, re-shot and re-edited during last minute pick-ups barely two months before release without the participation of original (and solely credited) director Malcolm D. Lee. And it shows. Badly. Even giving it the biggest cut of slack I can, it feels like a mish-mash of several different visions and just stinks of a perplexing combination of apathy and desperation. I have a feeling you can tell which scenes were re-shot and which were in the original version as the tone and feeling will radically change from scene to scene. Some scenes feel like soulless attempts at patching together jokes whereas others feel like everyone was trying... way too hard. And as a result, it comes off disjointed and honestly just uncomfortable to watch.Even the return of Simon Rex in a starring role after his turn as a supporting character in the previous two films (albeit as a new character here) can't save this trainwreck... and I'm one of the people who actually really enjoyed his work in those films as the lovable goofball. Then again, he's the only returning co-star of any previous films, with series leads Anna Faris and Regina Hall- the two beating hearts of the entire series- having long since jumped ship. So I don't know what I expected. If the franchise film can't even attract the attention of its own lead cast members and instead has to upgrade a smaller supporting cast member to be the new star, it's usually not the best of signs.While it may not be quite as condescending and grating as, say... a "Seltzerberg"-level parody, there's just no salvaging any laughs here. It's a confused, contrived, unfunny and even uncomfortable experience trying to watch "Scary Movie 5", and try as I might... I couldn't do it. It's up there with "Going Overboard" and "Fat Slags: The Movie" as one of the most inherently unwatchable comedies I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing.I really have no other choice but to give "Scary Movie 5" a tragic 1 out of 10. It's a shame.

The principal Achilles heel of Scary Movie 5 is the absence of Anna Faris, that girl and her smile enliven the comedies, Faris is a fantastic actress. Without Faris the saga Scary Movie wouldn't be the same. In this fifth part, the actuation of Ashley Tisdale is detestable, so horrible that this actress deserves a Razzie prize. I agree all the films of the saga are absurd, but this last chapter hasn't good jokes. Just as well I didn't watched this turkey in the cinema. For me is the most disappointing movie of the saga. The best: The cameo of Lindsay Lohan and the movie end. The worst: Nearly all.