Gaga: Five Foot Two (2017)

SERIOUSLY. This is what the crap Hollywood still puts out?

It’s an especially fun movie from a director and cast who are clearly having a good time allowing themselves to let loose.

Entertaining from beginning to end, it maintains the spirit of the franchise while establishing it's own seal with a fun cast

Your blood may run cold, but you now find yourself pinioned to the story.

It's really sad to watch such an underwhelming and uninspired documentary about a great artist like Gaga (cause I truly believe she's an amazing artist and performer).It's just boring. You can actually see people bored of listening talk at some scenes. There are moments when you kind of feel it may grasp into something beautiful and unique, like when she talks about how lonely she feels or you see her struggling with her pain, but unfortunately it doesn't really leads to anywhere.

I have to give Gaga credit for doing this. She had to know it was going to be one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations. People are going to take their biases and filter them into a film like this, regardless oh how this was shot or what was said.The main question I ask myself when I watch any program is, "Was that entertaining?" Yes, this certainly was! This film gives us a glimpse of Gaga's life when the cameras aren't usually rolling and we're introduced to her usual surroundings and the people in her inner-circle. Sometimes I'm guilty of thinking that rich and famous people have no cares in the world. This film serves as a reminder that this notion is the farthest thing from the truth. Money provides comfort but not happiness, and I think that's one of the takeaways for me here.A lot of reviewers are comparing this to Madonna's "Truth or Dare" which is a movie about the creation and fruition of the "Blond Ambition Tour" and focuses mainly on the difficulties of touring and life on the road with your dancers and staff. TOD does a great job of showing how you become a family unit for that period in time. Half the film is concert footage shown in black and white. Lady Gaga's "Five Foot Two" is not a concert film at all. It's more loosely-based on her life in general but chronicles the time frame from making her latest studio album to her preparation for the Super Bowl Halftime Show. It's mainly about her life, so I can see why some reviewers are saying she's a narcissist to the Nth degree; but to be fair, how can a film like this NOT seem narcissistic if it's about her life? I think nearly all celebrities of this caliber are the centers of their own universe. When you have the entire world judging your every step, maybe it's just the nature of the beast and done for self preservation...and maybe I'm being too kind?I also found it interesting that she brings up Madonna's dislike of her. You can tell it really bothers her. It would be difficult to not get the approval of the one artist you basically worship and molded your own career after. It would have been a good time for Gaga to directly address and put to rest the blatant piracy of Madonna's music and her culpability in the matter...no such luck!For the most part, I thought she came across as being very genuine. Certainly, some of the scenes were staged but this is done in almost every "reality" based TV show or documentary these days. She cries a lot. She seemed very vulnerable and insecure at times. I had remembered hearing that she had hip surgery but didn't realize how much pain she was in and how her body just completely shuts down at times. To me, this humanizes her. Calling her whiny really isn't appropriate, especially when it relates to a condition like this. I know that people say she's all about fame and money, but when she explained the title of her new album, Joanne, and that it was the name of her deceased aunt who had lupus; I mean, do you seriously think that was a money grab? Whatever has happened between the beginning of her career and now, she seems to be finding herself as an artist, is becoming more comfortable with herself and with opening up and not hiding behind all the crazy couture (which we all love, don't get me wrong).To be fair, this was a mere 100 minutes of her fast-paced rock star life. I wish there had been more of Sonja Durham in the film. I think it's terrible other reviewers have said Gaga made it seem that Sonja's cancer was all about her. Come on people, think! Gaga clearly loved her and only a few minutes in the film was dedicated to their friendship and working relationship. We have no idea what happened behind the scenes and what Gaga did for Sonja and her family. I would wager she did everything she could.I wasn't planning on writing a review on this film but I really enjoyed it, even though I'm not a huge Gaga fan. After I read many of the super-judgmental reviews, I felt compelled to counter-balance all the negativity. All I can say is, I'm so glad I'm not famous!

I do love the irony that in the beginning of this infomercial/promotional video, she's STILL griping about Madonna calling her unoriginal, reductive, etc. as though this wasn't highly influenced by Truth or Dare. So we get to see HER version of Madonna's pretending to be vulnerable, HER version of Madonna's being all upset, HER version of Madonna's hissy fits. And people on cell phones... texting and texting. Fascinating stuff. I get that she wants to be an actress - she's got enough pull now - go act in movies. Don't pretend this is a documentary when you're clearly constantly putting on a show the same way all celebrity reality shows are. I don't know how many times I thought to myself 'How is she different from Mariah Carey?'. But I suppose she has earned this level of self-indulgence but, like everything else, it's purely derivative and is kind of dull if you've seen any of the many other versions of this.

I don't know what went wrong. I'm not a huge fan of her music, but any documentary that involves artists and music usually pass as "good" to me. People have criticized Gaga's personality, mentioning how she comes across as self-absorbed, and how this documentary is just an act of self-indulgence. For me, the biggest issue was how this documentary seemed to promise real "intimacy" with a world-famous superstar, and gave none of that. How can you judge someone's personality on this material? I know she just compared making music with having open heart surgery,(??) and she does seem to be oblivious to other people - but maybe it was just an attempt to get enough material about her, so that she could finish the damn documentary. She didn't seem into it at all. The intense music, the artsy slow-motion camera, Gaga being massaged, Gaga with her family, Gaga feeding her dogs; it seems as if though every single person on the crew tried their very best to suggest something deep, but it all amounts to nothing. It is probably the most forced documentary I have ever seen.Early on, Gaga complains about sexism in the industry, and how she's forced to always be sexualized; and that, in order to not go crazy, she'd always manage to "twist" things just a bit - add an obscure element on her shows, like blood - in order to feel like she was in control. Did she not feel in control when she made this documentary? Because all you get from her, is a few blanket statements, repeated over and over again with different choices of words. Yes, you'll get to see her exhibit authentic state fright, and you'll see her in physical pain, but most of all, you will see her talking about deep stuff in a shallow way, or watch her dance around in skimpy Instagram outfits, with brows to match. Maybe she really does have nothing else to offer - I have seen people's brains and empathy slowly melt away before, simply because they couldn't smoke weed in moderation. And everyone knows what fame does to one's sense of self. But maybe Gaga just didn't feel like giving what it takes for a documentary like this to be good. Maybe she thought that if she just talked about women's issues in front of her stoned friends - who are either bad actors, bad friends, or simply hated how staged it was - and maybe if she had enough conversations about nothing,(but they all end with a hug!) it would come across as if she actually let us in close.Well, she didn't. It just comes across as a failed experiment.