The Cloth (2013)
Action/horror story centered on a secret organization formed by the Catholic Church to counteract the rising number of cases of demonic possessions across the country. The story follows a young godless man who is being recruited into the cloth in order to prepare a new generation with the tools needed to stop the rise of the ultimate evil; Beelzebub.
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As Good As It Gets
it is the rare 'crazy' movie that actually has something to say.
Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.
It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.
OK. So I went out of my way to register an account on this website for the sole purpose of giving this movie one star. I feel like, even though I didn't pay money to see this movie, I did pay with my time. And will power. No, I did not finish the movie. Are you kidding me? What can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said? I thought the lead actor was Hayden Christiansen. Thought that was pretty funny. But it turns out, it was not him. He still sucked. So did everything else about this movie.
This is, without a doubt, the absolute worst movie that I have ever seen. There was not a single point along the time line that I had any clue what was going on. Little to no character development, a creepily naive take on morals and the 'other', insanely bad dialogue and acting, and a million laughs for me (my girlfriend went to bed because she was completely lost and is not into awful movies the way that I am). I love the juxtaposition of how serious everyone that worked on this movie must have been and how awful it ended up being! There were so many people that had hands on in different aspects and they could have said, "Ummm, that line was really stupid. Maybe we should have someone come in and give the screenplay a once over." But they didn't! And how many of these people were fully grown adult human beings with cerebral cortices and everything? Most likely every single one of them! No excuses people. I don't care how scary it must have been to be that close to Danny Trejo (love, love, love Mah-chet- ay!).tl;dr: Watch if you love movies that are unintentionally horrible. Plus, Danny Trejo.
Review: Man, this movie is REALLY bad. I was expecting to see Trejo & Roberts kicking some zombie butt, but there not even in the movie that much. The director chose a really bad actor to play the lead, who has obviously not starred Ina movie before. The girl that plays alongside him has got a REALLY annoying voice and she also just wanted the payday. As for the movie, it's a simple good against evil plot which gets a bit stupid after a while. The zombies look ridiculous and really low budget along with the stupid script that really needed a lot of work. Basically, just stay away from this rubbish!Round-Up: If I was Danny Trejo or Eric Roberts, I wouldn't want my name associated with this movie at all. It won't ruin any of there careers because I doubt that anyone will see it. The beginning looked promising, for an exorcist type of movie, but as soon as the teenagers take over, it just goes drastically down hill. The music throughout the film was also annoying and cheap, which makes me wonder what the hell they spent the $4million on. They obviously didn't watch it before it got released.Budget: $4million Worldwide Gross: N/AI recommend this movie to people who are into there priest against demon movies, but doubt expect much. 1/10
This movie is not at all what my husband and I expected when we rented it from RedBox, but that's OK--sometimes you can find something unexpectedly awesome. This movie was NOT unexpectedly awesome. It was just plain AWFUL. Within the first 5 minutes, the ridiculousness and terrible acting made me burst out laughing. I thought maybe it would be OK in a campy sort of way... My hope for a "so-bad-it-was-good" movie rapidly faded with each poorly delivered line of dialogue. All of the acting is monotonous and terrible--I've seen better in children's plays and commercials; the camera work was terrible--poorly shot and often out of focus; the awful special effects and film stock made the entire production look cheap. Honestly--there is nothing that redeems this movie and I really have to question where the $4 million budget was used. Please, do yourself a favor and don't waste your time on this crap!