Suppose They Gave a War and Nobody Came? (1970)

Good concept, poorly executed.

Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.

It's a mild crowd pleaser for people who are exhausted by blockbusters.

Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

It's hard to sink low in Hollywood, but one way is to lead people on that you are making some sort of "profound" anti-war, anti-racism message movie, only to produce a really shallow, laughable at, not with, military comedy. Since they used a then popular antiwar slogan as the title and had a "long haired" soldier walk down the road with a peace sign painted on his duffel bag, it is really insulting that this movie, made during the height of the Vietnam War and protests, DIDN'T EVEN mention the war. OK, they DID, sort of, when Brian Keith told a story about one his men who got shot their in 1956??(Did he transfer from the French Army?) It acted like this was just a peacetime military base with a minor social, public relations problem with their local redneck civilian community. It was set in the South, but the architecture and landscape suggested, guess, Southern California.It also tried to play up the racial angle, which it did a tad more successfully than the anti-war angle, only to submerge it into the townies versus the garrison plot element. It had a pretty good cast, except for some sloppy brat pack boozy acting by Tony Curtis. Even some of the dialog was good. But when you add the childish mash up scene at the end along with the cheap pseudo messaging in the movie's theme, it is a real dud. It is like an (almost) adult version of McHale's Navy, except McHale is playing one of Captain Binghampton's enforcers; the stock redneck Southern sheriff.

I remember watching this as a child at the theater and then on TV (called "War Games") and have not seen it since the mid 70s and miss it. What appealed to me most was the recreation of the Civil War, where again, the American Yankees are forced into war and have to confront bigoted anti-American Southerners. The movie seems to poke fun at the sore losers of a war fought in the 1860s. You cannot help but cheer as a few Yankees take on a half-witted army of a Southern Sheriff as they plow into town riding an old World War 2 M-7 self-propelled artillery gun to liberate a friend from the jail. Compusive actions, however, must not go without consequences. What a funny movie with a good cast.

As a 20 year Military veteran, I was attracted to the intriguing question that is the title of this movie. Deciding whether or not to watch it becomes a no-brainer when you see the list of names that make up the ensemble of the cast: Ernie Borgnine, Ivan Dixon, Don Ameche, Art O'Connell and the great John Fiedler are all solid actors and have appeared in some of the best films in the history of American cinema. (check out their collective credits if you doubt it.)This film is an underrated one in the canon of films dealing with the U. S. Military. The script, although not perfect, is well written, with subtle and witty commentary on the military hierarchy, prevailing social attitudes, and the precarious relationship between our Vietnam-era military and the civilian community (i.e. "community relations"). No heavy military rigidness here; the flow is free and easy as in 'Catch-22' to provide a frame of reference. Or, as Stephen Sondheim wrote around the same period in "Anyone Can Whistle," the 'laugh at the Kings, or they'll make you cry' approach. As would be expected, Brian Keith is solid, but surprisingly even Tony Curtis manages to turn in a relatively piped-down performance from his usual fare which, to quote America's best known homemaker Martha Stewart, 'is a good thing.'

This comedy could easily have slipped into a Kelly's Heroes-style parody of the US military, and it's climactic chase scene teeters on the edge at times. But there's no discounting the intelligence at work here: the screenplay is unusually well written, making subtle points about the Vietnam War, racism, and sexism without alienating the audience with dogma. There are especially fine performances by Brian Keith and Ivan Dixon here, a restrained turn from Tony Curtis, and a reminder of the untapped talents of Suzanne Pleshette. A pleasant surprise.