The Christmas Train (2017)

What makes it different from others?

The Worst Film Ever

A Disappointing Continuation

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

This movie had an unusual storyline and an unpredictable ending. I didn't put the clues together and was surprised about how it all came together. Totally worth watching.

Ever see two people together and you think, "They just don't look right together." That is our lead characters. Kimberly Williams-Paisley is totally a hot babe in a Sandra Bullock in her prime kind of way. She carries the movie. But this Mulrobey guy is tough to look at when he is on screen. He has something like John Kerry hair...way to thick and big. Danny Glover...well, is Danny Glover. If you want to see his best work, I recommend..The Saint of Fort Washington. I can live with the script. Wasn't that bad.

Every Christmas, the Hallmark channel comes out with a fresh line-up of Christmas movies that play all day every day from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day. There's a sprinkling of really great ones mixed in among the mediocre ones that are tolerated because of the spirit of the season. And every once in a while, there's a movie so putrid you'll either turn it off or wish you had once it's over. Unfortunately for Hallmark, this year's all-star film that received the majority of the publicity and advertising is by far the worst corny Christmas movie I've ever seen. And I watch every Christmas movie I can get my hands on.The incredibly handsome Dermot Mulroney takes a train from Chicago to Los Angeles, and the moment he arrives at the station, his fellow passengers start acting incredibly weird. They're all introducing themselves, telling him their life stories and asking about his, and doling out clichés like Halloween candy. The lighting on the train is overexposed, adding to the already ominous aura; I actually considered turning the film off because I was convinced the train was full of dead people and they were escorting Dermot to Heaven—that's how not-normal the film felt.As incredibly handsome as Dermot Mulroney is—and trust me, you'll be tempted to keep watching the movie just to keep staring at him—his gorgeous mug isn't enough to even remotely save the movie. And as bad as I feel for him for being forced into taking this role, I feel worse for Danny Glover. He was in The Color Purple, and now he's been reduced to playing an eccentric film director in the worst Hallmark Christmas movie ever made? Shirley MacLaine starred in Hallmark's A Heavenly Christmas last year, so it isn't unheard of that big names flock to Hallmark during the holidays, but The Christmas Train is so awful it almost defies description.Every corny, tooth-aching cliché you can think of is included in the script, and there's even a few included that I'd never heard before—and I sincerely hope I'll never have to hear them again. Literally every single line of dialogue and plot point is terrible, from the first scene to the last images before the end credits. Even if you're desperately in love with Dermot Mulroney—and I can't imagine you loving him more than I do—do not watch this movie unless you want to start hating Christmas movies.

This was the biggest dog of a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie premier I've ever seen. The dialogue was abominable - stilted and totally unconvincing. Danny Glover as Max whispered and rasped his lines (probably because he has an old voice). Joan Cusack's "acting" was comprised solely of screwing up her mouth in order to show a range of emotion: confusion, sadness, empathy, you name it. It was very unattractive and distracting. The plot was totally unbelievable, including a scene in Chicago where Tom and Eleanor go dancing (and swilling champagne) at a reception where everyone except them is in evening wear - they never would have made it through the front door! Ridiculous. I couldn't even suspend belief and enjoy this mess, although I watched til the bitter end. Don't blame me if you watch this movie and are sorely disappointed!