31 North 62 East (2009)

This Movie Can Only Be Described With One Word.

A Disappointing Continuation

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

Simply put,the audience is expected to condemn the torture of a Woman soldier by Jihadists but accept if not actually encourage the torture of a woman politician in a "good" cause. All the rest is pretty dreadful with countless plot holes and laughable performances from nearly everybody. Only Mr I.Lavendar puts a shift in and he pops his clogs(to no purpose as far as I could see) early on. Then again if you're looking for purpose you're at the wrong shop. Miss H.Peace who has appeared as an SAS soldier on telly several times has the thousand yard stare that programme makers appear to think is mandatory. Trouble is she wears it even when in a bar with her boyfriend. The PM who appears to be a ghastly amalgam of Gordon Brown John Prescott is arguably the worst performance I have ever had the pleasure of laughing at. I believe wholeheartedly that any Prime Minister in the 21st century would condemn a whole regiment of soldiers to death to get his hands on £80 billion of Oil money,but the rest of of 31 north 62 east is nonsense.

31 NORTH 62 EAST is a low budget British thriller about the war in the Middle East, Afghanistan in this instance. It's a political story about the ways in which corruption can exploit those on the ground and even lead to a murder plot. Unfortunately for this film, the script is quite nonsensical, positing Britain's own Prime Minister as the master villain of the piece, quite happy to sell out members of his own armed forces for the sake of a trade deal.Had the villain been a junior minister with the ability to manipulate the system then it might have been more convincing, but giving the Prime Minister power to do this just makes it a laugh. It doesn't help that this film is entirely cheap without any action sequences in it whatsoever; in fact, when something does threaten to happen (such as the car scene with the two women), the film randomly cuts away to the aftermath. It's not totally bad, as one extended torture sequence is extremely gruelling, and a few familiar faces like Craig Fairbrass, Marina Sirtis, and John Rhys-Davies show up to pick up their pay cheques. The casting director has also gone out of his way to cast attractive actresses in support. In the end, though, 31 NORTH 62 EAST is simply a forgettable, occasionally ridiculous little thriller.

This movie stinks of something that flies hover around. I mean it really is not a good movie in any shape or form. The script is unbelievable, the acting is questionable and the atmosphere is, well, got flies hovering around it. Because of my strange fascination with clanger B movies such as "Plan 9 from Outta Space" my brother suggested I should watch it. So first impression is that it is in the mould of a B movie or a made for TV type. I found myself laughing out loud at some of the scenes such as the torture of the female SAS officer (what the **** is a female doing in the SAS). Yeah, she's one tough bitch holding out for days before she even admits being in the military and come on Mr nasty torturer dude. What's he got up his slippery sleeve. Is it the rack, a high voltage wire on the nips or just a good old fashioned shoe to the head for breakfast. No it's none of those, instead he has watched Blue Peter and made himself some little flags on pins taken from his mums sewing box where he proceeds to stick them in the tough girls nails. Why did he not give her a nice manicure while he's at it. Despite an SAS lady we have the same AK47 that finds itself in the hands of different factions throughout the film (and never gets fired). A British Prime Minister who's over acting almost made me wee my pants. Italian special forces clad in ill-fitting clothes and obviously not Italian nationals. A countries national security system that is easily accessible through Google and the SAS lady's sister (same actress with a wig on) who is an expert hacker, pilot, Special Forces assault expert, pharmacist and prime time TV presenter. There really are too many bad scenes to mention. I missed so much through tears and burying my head yet I am glad I experienced the film. It's not all bad. The French secret service lady was quite fit, the producers did budget a helicopter for the assault on the empty farm and on the opening scene I particularly admired the fonts spelling 31 East 62 North (just in case you forgot what you sat down to watch).

The French chick had some Bigg Uns This is a British version of American 90's over the top STR8 to video X-files DTA and don't trust your government 911 Fahrenheit slop with over the acting, revenge romp. If you were expecting some intelligent erudite merchant ivory thingamabob. You will be sadly disappointed.. The problem with this movie is its about 10 years too late. We've grown and educated ourselves since then. The British Prime minister isn't anything like Tony Blair or Prince Williams he's an over the top caricature of a James BOND super-criminal mastermind (No Mr. BOND I expect you to Die!). He's so over the top he makes the ARAB royalty and jihads seem like sane reasonable individuals in comparison. Another thing this whole film seemed as if it was filmed at some plush English manor including the Afghanistan parts. Oh and dressing up Arabs in British uniforms doesn't make them Italian Special Forces, it just makes them JIHADIST stunt doubles who have to work twice as hard to earn their checks. One thing the women in this film were flat stomached, flat butted, but not flat chested. I'm not saying they were whipping around 48DD, but they filled some bras here. Even the buff kick-boxing trainer, and political aid MILF also had a nice set. What this film lacked in action it more than made up for in BOOBALAGE You found this review