Harpies (2007)
Jason Avery is an ex-cop now working as a museum security guard. Armed thieves break in intent on stealing a priceless obelisk that's stored within this vault-like stone structure. The scientist behind the theft talks of the obelisk giving him the power to control harpies, demonic winged female monsters of classic mythology. Through a series of contrived events, the obelisk opens a time portal that Jason promptly falls into, crash landing over a thousand years in the past in a land threatened by evil harpies.
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Strictly average movie
Dreadfully Boring
The movie really just wants to entertain people.
A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.
I had a feeling that Harpies would be bad, but this bad? No, I was not expecting that actually. Other than some novelty value and a somewhat enjoyably hammy performance from Scott Valentine, Harpies has no redeeming qualities and is one of SyFy's very worst. The film looks cheap for starters, with choppy editing, scenery that never feels authentic and lighting that doesn't add anything to the atmosphere. But even they are not as bad as the special effects for the harpies which are so shoddy and fake that you are laughing by how hysterically awful they are. The script is just as poor, with dialogue so cheesy that it would make the cheesiest cheeseburger bland and flat delivery. The story is incredibly dull and predictable, with nothing of real interest happening, and the action sequences are the most inept of any movie that I've seen. The direction is limp and unimaginative and the pacing is sluggish. The characters have no likability or life to them, you are annoyed by them and nothing is done to develop them that well. The acting is awful, Stephen Baldwin's lead performance is so lazy that you are wondering whether he's even acting at all. Overall, an absolute waste of time, in all honesty not in a while have I seen a movie this bad. 1/10 Bethany Cox
I admit not seeing all of the movie. I came home from Live Free or Die Hard (which was awesome!) and watched the last half of this. It had me literally laughing out loud, too bad it isn't a comedy. The good was Kristin Richardson, she could act and was easy on the eyes. The OK, Scott Valentine. I give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he was just over the top and cheesy on purpose to fit the tone of the film. Stephen Baldwin let his acting chops drop to the level of the surrounding cast, which was just terrible. You rarely get the whole cast to sound as if they can't remember their lines and are just reading them off a cheat sheet just off camera. Horrendous. The CG. Holy crap. This got the most,and biggest laughs out of me. Original Sci-Fi channel pics are not know for great CGI. But this is a new low. WOW, truly needs to be seen it to believe it. Probably the worst CGI I have ever seen. Avoid this even if you liked other made for Sci-fi channel movies, or tune in if you can't believe its the worst acting and CG maybe ever. But please quickly turn it off and save the brain cell or 2 you will burn out trying to figure out how it was green lit to go out to the public.
I am 44 minutes into the 2 hour movie, so I don't think there will be any spoilers.I'm not sure if this piece of crap is the result of a bad script, bad directing, or overall bad-acting, but is most likely all three. Stephen Baldwin is a terrible actor if this performance is any indication. I have yet to see actor provide anything close to a post-high school performance.I'd say Stan Lee is a member of the Ed Wood Director's Club and has should be embarrassed to have his name attached to this movie as director, much less as part of the title. The special affects are worse than some I have seen in 1950's movies.This movie should be titled "Stan Lee's Failure as a Director" Stephen Baldwin should retire from acting, the rest of actors should lay low for a while before their next audition.
Sincerely hoping they all had a good time making this awful flick to ensure that at least there was some fun had here...certainly wasn't much fun to be had on the receiving end.Based on a few posts, I was hoping against all odds (Sci-Fi Channel original, Stephen Baldwin starring) that this would be an entertaining diversion, whether it be a tongue-in-cheek endeavor or a somehow otherwise funny or exciting venture; but unfortunately, this was nothing more than a terrible film. Can we fine the actors for this? That would be fun, and I would be content with the results. Better yet however would be to Star-Chamber the producers.This film is embarrassingly terrible and I despise the fact that Stephen Baldwin lives a better life than most of us.