The Tomb (1986)

Best movie of this year hands down!

The greatest movie ever!

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

A film of deceptively outspoken contemporary relevance, this is cinema at its most alert, alarming and alive.

This was a film made on the cheap, including actors like Sybil Danning and John Carradine, who most people would be surprised was still alive in 1986. These good actors were brought in for short cameos so that we wouldn't notice the actors who were actually the stars of the film.So a corrupt archaeologist finds some artifacts in a tomb and unleashes a sorceress/vampire/mummy. The rest of the film involves characters who are or are not the protagonists trying to stop her before the final anti-climatic showdown.One of those great signs of cheapness. The aforementioned Ms. Danning firing an Uzi with the muzzle out of frame because they couldn't afford blanks.Not quite in the "So bad it's good" category.

This is an Indiana Jones-type film that was made on the cheap (VERY cheap). It features hot young guys running about sets that looked LESS convincing than the props in a spook house! It also features an airplane that explodes with one shot from a pistol, a band in pharaoh head gear and others dressed like mummies or wearing a fez singing "Tutti Frutti" (presumably in the Middle East), BAD dialog and acting and one embarrassing moment after another. When the film began, I knew it was crap--simply because of the cheapo soundtrack. It's all synthesizers and sounds pretty much like what other cheap 80s films sounded like (such as "Warlords of the 21st Century"). And, it features John Carradine--a guy who would have starred in ANYTHING (including tampon commercials) if they paid him in cash! It also features Cameron Mitchell--a once decent actor who, by 1986, was seriously looking for work. As for the rest, they're mostly unknown actors (aside from Sybil Danning, who made a career out of appearing in low-budget films)....and I can see why. Overall, it's the sort of picture that would have gone straight to videotape or been seen on the USA Network back in the late 80s. If you like crap, then give this one a try. As for me, I couldn't even finish this one...it was that lame.

I remember reading a write up on this film, the standard fare put out by the promotions people. It sounded exciting, horrific, all the things I enjoy about a good mummy movie. Then I got the box home and knew I was in trouble. The cheesy art of the box cover was the first clue. It could just have easily been the cover for "Big Trouble in Little China" which was a much better film, but this was no comedy, at least not intentionally. To begin with the budget on this must have been all of a $1.85 with tax. Then there are the sets. The film was supposed to take place in Egypt, but the sets bore no resemblance whatever. Cameron Mitchell is no actor, no way, never been. I was especially disappointed to see aging horror star John Carradine and Sybil Danning in this as they are both usually in much better quality work. You can safely give this one a miss, unless you are a fan of "Plan 9 From Out Space." This is right down there with it.

The Tomb is one of those stupid movies I remember seeing when I was around 7 or 8 and thinking it was the coolest thing in the world. Now, watching it almost two decades later, I realize I must have been a pretty stupid kid. Ancient Egyptian artifacts are stolen from a dead princess's tomb. She returns from the dead to exact revenge on the individuals who now possess them. Sounds like it could be good for average '80's horror cheese fodder, but it isn't. Slow-paced boredom with an irritating group of actors (minus Michelle Bauer, who is always fun to watch even though she can't act). The pace is horrible and many horror scenes never seem to deliver. Whoever wrote this must have been on speed for the story jumps around a bit for really no reason at all. For some reason the title of the movie is shown twice in the opening credits. Tedious schlock with really nothing to offer. Features goofy violence and gratuitous T and A. One Star.