Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (1982)

The Worst Film Ever

just watch it!

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

I enjoyed watching this film and would recommend other to give it a try , (as I am) but this movie, although enjoyable to watch due to the better than average acting fails to add anything new to its storyline that is all too familiar to these types of movies.

Corinne Burns (Diane Lane) calls herself Third Degree Burn as the leader of the band The Stains with her sister Tracy Burns and her cousin Jessica McNeil (Laura Dern). Her mother recently died from cancer. Jessica's mother Linda (Christine Lahti) is her aunt. The girls attend a concert and Corinne talks her way onto the tour. The tour manager Lawnboy is trying to appease the conflict between aging singer Lou of The Metal Corpses and their young opening act The Looters led by Billy (Ray Winstone). The girls are not that good. When The Metal Corpses' guitarist turns up dead, Lawnboy makes the girls the new opening act. The girls become an overnight sensation for Croinne's attitude, her feminist tirades, and her edgy look championed by TV reporter Alicia Meeker despite the band's lack of musical skills. Her young female fans call themselves Skunks.This is a cult movie from the 80's. I do remember the trailer back in the day although I don't think it had much of a run in the theaters. This is about fame in the new age of MTV. It's a little dated now but it has a certain punky indie edge. The best part is Diane Lane. She has IT. She is this young girl with attitude. There are also some notable big screen newcomers. This movie thrives on Lane's attitude but it can get monotone.

Ever since I went to see the English alt-rock/Grunge band The Subways perform in 2007 (which was also the first live music concert that I ever went to)I have become very keen on finding rock/metal bands that are either an all girl group (such as the very underrated Grunge band L7),or have a woman that is a co-vocalist (Such as the great band Lacuna Coils Cristina Scabbia,who I had the amazing pleasure of meeting and chatting to,after the band had played a stunning 90 minute concert!)So when a friend asked me if I could order the DVD to this film,which he has been wanting to see for over twenty years!,I also became very keen on seeing the film,after I found out that the film was about an all-girl Punk/Glam group.The plot: With the death of her mother,Corinner Burns decides to pull her sister Tracy and their cousin Jessica McNeil into a close-knit unit,and that they should form a band called The Fabulous Stains.One night when Corinner is at a local Rock club,she watches the performances of the shock-rock headliners,and a new British Punk band,that really catches her attention.After she has been able to grab the attention of the tour manager,who hires her band (The Fabulous Stains) to be the opening band on the rest of the tour,Corinner does everything she can,to make sure that she, Tracy and Jessica stand out from all the other bands on the tour.This leads to Corinner cutting her hair into a very weird style,and deciding that the Stains will adop a very comfrontaional stage persona,where they show the female members of the audiences that they all should stand up for themselves,and not "give in" that easily.With their new aggressive edge and energy,the band instantly start gathering a huge amount of girls,who are all huge fans of there's,and are dedicated to following the bands message.But With the Fabulous Stains becoming the biggest,and the most popular band in the touring area,jealousy from some of the other bands (who they are meant to be supporting) starts to grow...View on the film: The first thing that I feel I need to praise about this fantastic film,are the stunning performances from the very youthful before-they-were-famous cast,with a very in-shape Ray Winstone giving a great gritty performance as the lead singer of the British Punk band (Billy).Winstone shows Billy as someone who is unable to ever get the bitter taste out of his mouth that the girls are being given the same opportunity as his self-centered punk band is,especially since he feels that girls "Cant rock".Looking at the band themselves,the clear stand-out is easily Diane Lane as the rebellious lead vocalist of the Fabulous Stains, Corinne Burns.Lane shows that Corinne wants to have the Stains destroy everyones expectations of what a "bunch of girls" can do,by giving the group a strong mission statement,that can be felt in all of the performances in the film,to Diane looking very provocative with a terrific hairstyle,and some very eye-catching stage outfits.For the brilliant screenplay by Nancy Dowd (who would later win an Oscar for her Coming Home screenplay) Dowd smartly plays against some of the biggest clichés in the Punk scene,by showing the whilst the ageing rock band are not THAT friendly,the Stains are still able to talk to the band a little bit,whilst the Punk band who preach on stage that you should be your self and do what ever you want,are actually filled with vile and disgust that the Fabulous Stains are becoming extremely successful.Final view on the film: Although the film was not given a chance to survive when it basically got buried alive on realise,that error should be completely ignored,due to the film having a fabulous screenplay,interesting and original directing.And last,but not least,some truly shining performances from an amazing young cast.

Fiery and insolent rebellious teenager Corinne "Third Degree" Burns (a wonderfully raw and dynamic portrayal by Diane Lane) is angry about the untimely death of her mother. So she convinces her reluctant sister Tracy (the cute Marin Kanter) and her equally surly cousin Jessica (Laura Dern at her most adorable) to form a rowdy all-female punk group called the Stains (who look and sound like an unholy cross between the Shaggs and the Runaways). Despite having no real musical talent, the Stains still manage to get a gig as part of a tour along with the past their prime metal band the Metal Corpses (they stink) and the snarly punk outfit the Looters (who seriously smoke!). The Stains become huge stars because of their skimpy stage outfits, outrageous two-tone skunk hairstyles, defiant attitude (their motto is "We don't put out"), and, most of all, extensive media coverage by opportunistic TV news anchorwoman Alicia Meeker (delightfully played with lip-smacking relish by Cynthia Sikes). However, their moment in the spotlight proves to be fleeting when their loyal audience of adolescent girl admirers known as Skunks realize they've been had and turn on the band at a disastrous concert.Director and noted music producer Lou Adler, working from a sharp and abrasive script by Nancy Dowd (who also wrote "Slap Shot"), offers a fiercely cynical and illuminating depiction of the more sordid aspects of the rock music business which include drug use (one member of the Metal Corpses dies of an overdose), performing in seedy dives, mindless consumerism, and especially how the media can either make or break a band. This film further benefits from excellent acting from a fine cast. Lane delivers a positively electrifying performance full of rage and passion that holds the whole picture together. Ray Winstone likewise shines as bitter and cranky, yet wise and knowing punk singer Billy, who tries to be a mentor for Corinne without much success. Christine Lahti only pops up in two scenes as Corinne's neurotic and regretful Aunt Linda, but makes a strong and lasting impression just the same. Special kudos are also in order for Barry Ford, who gives a marvelously engaging turn as laid-back and philosophical Jamaican bus driver Lawnboy. Plus there's nice support from David Clennon as sleazy agent Dave Robell, Fee Waybill as washed-up rocker Lou Corpse, John Lehne as smarmy newscaster Stu McGrath, and E.G. Daily as a perky hotel maid. Appearing as members of the Looters are erstwhile Sex Pistols Paul Cook and Steve Jones and Paul Simonon of the Clash. Horror scream queen Debbie Rochon makes her feature film debut an uncredited bit part as a Skunk. The gritty, yet polished cinematography by Bruce Surtees comes through with plenty of striking visuals and spot-on evocative shots of often dreary and grungy locations. A tad rough around the edges, but overall a really fun and rollicking blast of a movie.

I am one of many fans of this movie with money ready to spend on an official DVD release.I'm sure the only reason it has not been release is bureaucratic one. Some bright spark at some office needs to use their initiative and turn this little gem into a modest fortune.It is music history.Its got some big names in it.Mobilise the potential in this please.If the master reel has been lost, use one of the 35mm movie theatre prints that are knocking about.