Antibody (2002)

Purely Joyful Movie!

Don't Believe the Hype

Brilliant and touching

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

Exceedingly bad in all aspects, but you can't look away. If Mystery Science Theater 3000 was still out there, this would be at the top of their list. The plot is shamelessly stolen from "Fantastic Voyage" without an acknowledging nod or a wink. The twists - as they are - can be seen coming from a mile away. The special effects must have been gleaned from cuttings from FVs cutting room floor. The dialog appears to have been the result of a bet among the writers to see how many times they could use the s-word. This one is a treat right from the opening credits to the last line of dialog. Must be watched without commercial interruption, otherwise you may be tempted to turn it off.

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All CostsDr Richard Gaynes (Lance Henriksen) is a bomb disposal expert for the FBI.That is,until a terrible mistake forces him to resign his post and a few years later,he becomes a surveillance man.When a team of terrorists seize control of a building,a shoot out ensues and the head man is shot.However,medics must battle to keep him alive,as he has placed a detonating device inside himself that,should he die,will cause a massive explosion.The renowned Dr Theodore Bichall (Valizer Binev) has a secret underground science lab where he is working on a revolutionary new technology that will allow Gaynes and a team of scientists lead by Dr Rachel Saverini (Robin Givens) to enter the terrorist's body by means of a small ship and deactivate the detonating device.With time running out,Gaynes and his team must battle to deactivate the device before it's too late.This film originally caught my eye in the video store.I checked the back,and the concept sounded very intriguing,especially being one for a straight-to-video movie.I can't remember exactly how recently this was,but it certainly arrived on these shores a fair while after it's original year of release,2002.However,upon starting to watch it,I was able to pick something up very quickly.Aside from dealing with the bomb,somewhere another agent who is in close contact with Gaynes must deal with an Islamic man who is waving a gun in the air and singing something that sounds like a religious hymn (well,it don't sound like The Fast Food Song,that's for sure).There is talk that the man might have a detonating device of his own implanted in his body that will cause the present bomb to go off.And from here on in,the hidden symbolism becomes very clear.This is very September 11th themed,right down to the idea of suicide bombers and the general threat of terrorism that had become very present in the world.It would be easy to say that the main plot of the movie has notable plot holes,but then it could be making a point of how true it is in the world today,like,of course terrorists would be able to sneak in to an important venue where an important speech is about to be delivered disguised as video equiptment installer men.Er,yeah maybe they would.It seems like not a day goes by where the tabloids don't feature stories of lax security at important venues and undercover reporters getting in as such and such (the British tabloids,anyway.)It kind of feels like the film jumped on the backwagon of the public conscious and the fears of the public one year after those terrible events and seems to be engaging in a spot of the IL' cynical exploitation.Aside from this,much of the film just ends up lost anyway.It appears very cheaply filmed,and full of no-name Russian actors with funny sounding names on account of the barely there budget.They're very bad no-name actors too (well,there you go) and they turn in some very bad,blank acting.Throw into that a patchy,ineffective script and an increasingly far-fetched,ridiculous plot and the only thing the movie ultimately leaves you with is perhaps a desire for a remedy against any future bad films.**

It sounds like a great idea, remake or do a sequel or such to Fantastic Voyage, a serious one not like Innerspace (good in it's own way). This has a lot of good ideas going for it, the terrorist idea involving a miniature detonator that has to be found and plucked out of the body. I bet the treatment was actually pretty good, but it loses steam in the way it's presented, intermittent pacing, some silliness, weak exposition, missed opportunities, but on the other hand, many parts are exciting and fun to watch, pretty nice effects and some good stuff like lights on the ship (unlike FV where the inner body was somehow miraculously illuminated. Would have liked better science, there seemed to be very little here, more than 4 persons in the ship would have helped, better interplay between the ship and the outside crew, also lacking enough people around the place. Less time spent on the terrorist buildup which could have been dealt with more quickly and with some better exposition, and more time inside the body, etc. Decent, a wasted opportunity of sorts, yet worth a look.

If you like "Worst of Hollywood" or "Mystery Science Theater 3000" you'll love the made-for-TV movie "Antibody" on the Sci-Fi channel. Essentially it's a remake of "The Fantastic Journey", but without Raquel Welch, no body-tight uniforms and without any originality or 60s appeal. It adds a new! twist! to the movie with some nutter that's set a nuclear device somewhere in Europe (who cares if only Europeans die, huh?), but that's really immaterial to the joy of watching early 60s Star Trek-style camera shakes, $150 sets, and *the* most wooden acting that would make 50s B-movie stars cringe. It's not that Robin Givens or Lance Henriksen are bad actors -- it's just proves that anyone given bad direction, bad sets, an awful rehashed plot (set cliches to "kill" !) and dialogue so corny that the sense of the actors suffering through this is palpable. IMDB users have *very* generously given the movie 3.8 our of 10. The only point to this movie that I can see is to make "Battlefield Earth" look like a good movie. And, just like that movie, this is a movie that is best enjoyed with a few friends, a few more beers, and a willingness to laugh *at* a movie rather than *with* it, and from that viewpoint it is worth every one of those hard-earned 3.8 stars.