Fantasy Mission Force (1983)

This Movie Can Only Be Described With One Word.

Some things I liked some I did not.

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

Dreadfully Boring

Fantasy Mission ForceGenre: Martial Arts, War, Horror, Comedy Released: 1982 Director: Chu Yin Ping Starring: Jackie Chan (according to the cover)There are movies that are good to go and see in the cinema, expensive spectacles of light and CGI, impressive acting and intrinsic plot twists, films you walk away from full of hope for the future of the moving picture. Other pictures are just good to watch when you are either stoned and/or drunk. Fantasy Mission Force is one of those films. In fact, it could well be the God of the stoner film. Jackie Chan did this film as a favour to Jimmy Wang Yu, who it's said helped him out with some Triad problems, and only appears here and there throughout the movie. Which is a good thing for Jackie. Our story takes place during World War 2, and begins with Jimmy Wang massacring the Japanese with a machine gun while driving around in a jeep. On returning to base, he is given a mission to rescue General Abraham Lincoln from the Japanese in Luxemburg, and to do so he has to gather a crack team of non-army folks from various locations in Europe. After a quick musical number in Chinese (the rest of the film is dubbed), Jimmy captures his first team member by luring him with food, grabs another who's just escaped from a Chinese jail (in Europe), and bags a violent assassin couple by almost killing them first. The female part of this couple bazookas her house before she goes for some reason, and the whole gang, including a comedy duo, set off for Luxemburg in a jeep. Jacky (as it's spelt here) is a hustler, bumping people for money by duping them into fights or something. It's hard to tell. After making a large amount of cash, the local chief of police takes it off him and Jackie, missus in tow, sets off into the wilderness scant. Our heroes, crossing marshland, are attacked by masked Amazon warriors, and Jimmy is killed. Nevertheless, our heroes plod on, only to get themselves captured by the Amazons, who live in a complex riverside bamboo village (in Europe). A tuxedo-clad James Bong type rules these chicks, and wants to kill the male half of our heroic gang. Luckily, they are rescued in a hailstorm of explosions and run off to the next mental part of the film. Jackie joins in the action for a bit again here, fighting with a live chicken in his arms (chicken NOT chuffed by the looks of it), and then goes away again. Next up our heroes find themselves kipping overnight in a house full of Chinese ghosts, which leads to many bizarre scenes, including one of the heroes settling down to play cards with two ghosts, and a dinner party involving loads of scary claws taking the pish out of another character. Somehow one of the characters ends up dressed in armour and swinging a morning star about, and they all finally end up at their end destination, only to find they've been double crossed by Jimmy Wang Yu, who is still alive. However, the cast of Mad Max turn up in seventies cars (during WWII) adorned with swastikas, and a huge battle breaks out. Our heroes are all killed in surprisingly violent and gory ways, including the comedy relief who is impaled by a sword shoved up his back door! Jackie appears and sorts out the rest of the baddies, including Jimmy Wang, and the whole film just stops as if someone has switched of the DVD for you. Fantasy Mission Force goes where not even films like Zombie Flesh Eaters would dare. Two minutes into the film sanity hails a cab and gets right out of town, leaving you watching a Nazi Kong FUD horror fantasy film which is so insane you have no idea where it's going to go next. The dialogue is hilarious, the acting diabolical, and the plot developments thought out by someone on heavy sedatives. Don't buy it to see Jackie Chan, because you'll feel let down, buy it because you need to see one the craziest films in existence.

There are certain words that trigger an instant interest in a movie. Spellbinding, Magical, Mysterious, Edge-of-your-seat-action, Kick-ASS. This movie is none of those things. What it is, however, is the greatest combination of complete amateur cinematography, 1970's automobiles and a collection of statesmen from across vast time periods. All of these things come together to ward off the advances of the Japanese. The Japanese do not make an appearance in this movie, but the Japanese are expensive and the budget for this movie could have been spent entirely in a dollar store (if they existed in the 70's) and the leftover failures from a demolition derby. This movie was all that is fantastic about action movies and China. The heart-wrenching end (I should have put that in the list above) was probably the most distressing thing I have ever seen, knowing the reappearance of these characters will be unlikely. Alas, there are no words that can summarize this movie. If I say "bad" people will say it's a bad movie. Which is certainly is not. If I say "good" people will expect something well done, and Fantasy Mission Force is anything but that. The only thing I can say is watch it. From beginning to end. Do not stop, do not look back or rewind looking for answers. Watch it from beginning to end and all will be made clear.

Mmmmmmmm............bit of a weird film.I don't think the language barrier counts in my lack of understanding of this film, to be honest. I think if they replaced the actors with Peter Ustinov and Lawrence Olivier, I would still be a confused little beastie about the movie I had just seen.Plot - There is NO PLOT in this film. A bunch of guys come together to fight another bunch of guys, and to make the characters as varied as they are is quite a ridiculous notion. They are all so different, that it's like watching a strange dream played out in front of you - you know the kind where a person changes into someone else, and you don't notice until you wake up.The script is rubbish. Like I've said, there is no plot.Lots of things blow up and lots of people die, but there isn't much kung-fu in this film, unfortunately. The parts that you see Jackie Chan fighting in are decent, but don't last long enough for a fan of Chan.The soundtrack sounds like the director took his favourite TV shows and used their soundtracks for his movie. I could have sworn I heard the Benny Hill chase music at some point.Never watch this film if you are normal. If you are insane, or on drugs, this film must be enjoyable. But you shouldn't take drugs, and you definitely shouldn't watch this film.

Utterly terrible waste of time and money. Jackie looks embarrassed and Wang-Yu looks like he is finally having second thoughts about making this movie by the finale. Completely pointless; there is no plot whatsoever (unless you count WW2 soldiers, Nazis, Amazons, zombies, vampires as making sense put together). Jackie has about three fights in it: number 1, some kind of stupid wrestling match; number 2, JC beats up girls with paper bags over their heads; and number 3, a sloppy throwdown with Jimmy. If any of these sound enticing, well, I'm sorry to say they are not even as good as Police Woman (and that, my friends, is saying something).