Hard to Die (1990)

To me, this movie is perfection.

Most undeservingly overhyped movie of all time??

Best movie of this year hands down!

Absolutely brilliant

Jim Wynorski knows how to make a titty-flick entertaining. Gratuitous nudity can get stale, but here it's used winkingly, which fits the tone of the rest of the movie. This is also the closing of an era, as the early nineties still had enough non-silicone actresses left over from the eighties. The remainder of the decade witnessed the rise of fake bosoms, unfortunately. Ironically, the least attractive thing in this movie is the most entertaining, in the form of Peter Spellos. His character is a well-intentioned gentle-giant who lumbers around, being mistaken for the killer at every turn, and getting f***ed up by the babes as a result. The gag runs through the entire movie, adding laughs to the titillation. So, grab a beer, turn off the brain, and enjoy.

This may have been the tamest NC-17 movie I have seen. There is a heaping helping of nudity (where the main cast takes turns showering) but no sex and a surprising lack of gore or violence. It feels like a PG-13 horror flick if you slapped on an insane amount of cleavage. If you're not into boobs, there isn't a ton here for you (or on most parts of the internet).For a short movie it seems to drag at points, specifically towards the end. Characters can be stabbed over and over again and return to be shot a scene later, and then again the next 2 scenes. Gunshots have no visible effect other than the character wobbling pretending to have been shot (Guns can also be shot almost indefinitely without reloading until the plot requires it). In some ways it adds to the camp but this movie could have been cut down to an hour.The kills aren't anything to remember, but the ending is pretty funny and the film has buddy cops getting donuts, hilariously awful line delivery and an incredible amount of boobs. Watch this movie if you like those things.

You gotta respect low budget director Jim Wynorski: he never pretends that his films are more than what they are, and he knows how to deliver silliness and sleaze in equal measure. He demonstrates that with this dumb but fun melding of a "Die Hard" homage with a supernatural slasher flick. Five ultra sexy babes from a temp agency are hired to do the inventory for a lingerie company, but they'll have their mundane task interrupted by a killing spree while a storm rages outside their office building. Could the killer be the off kilter janitor (Peter Spellos) on the premises? Or is something else going on? "Hard to Die" comes off as a true mans' fantasy in that our protagonist babes are dressed skimpily and sexily right from the start, and they're a delight to behold, particularly when towards the end two of them are toting machine guns. Hotties and firearms DO always make for an irresistible combination. In addition, Wynorski shows early on that he will go for a cartoon like, tongue in cheek quality, and this extends to such things as sound effects, not to mention the fact that good old Orville the janitor proves to be completely impossible to kill. The acting is just right for this sort of thing. Gail Harris is delectable as Dawn, our plucky heroine, and Karen Mayo-Chandler, Deborah Dutch, Melissa Moore, and Bridget Carney round out the quintet of potential victims. Toni Naples, as a police detective, and Carolet Girard, as a porno actress, add even more eye candy to the proceedings. Wynorski works with regulars such as adorable Kelli Maroney as the porno wife and Monique Gabrielle, who's unrecognizable in a character role as the delivery woman. There's a sizable role for the legendary Forrest J. Ackerman of "Famous Monsters of Filmland" fame, and Wynorski himself appears, uncredited, as the porno director. Composer Chuck Cirino contributes a typically catchy electronic score, and Wynorskis' pacing is up to snuff; the movie clocks in at a fairly short 84 minutes long. It's got a couple of in-jokes, posters of the directors' past efforts, archive footage taken from "The Slumber Party Massacre", and is well worth watching for the generous screen time devoted to ogling the main actresses' assets. Seven out of 10.

You have got to admire a movie that sets and then surpasses its own goals. HtD gets right up in your face and asks you if you want to see a slasher movie with five luscious babes (each with a distinct personality, of course) dressed in lingerie (unless they're in Daisy Dukes or in the shower without any clothes at all) running around a building after-hours and firing automatic weapons. Of course you do! Well, HtD delivers. Throw in Orville Ketchum, some irrelevant filler material shot at a porn filming session, and a bizarre cameo by Forrest J. Ackerman, and you've got a most-excellent B-film! Keep in mind that Jim Wyrnoski is not shy about using material from other films. In Sorority House Massacre II (which beats out HtD only marginally as the best B-movie, because it actually features a haunted house,) he used lengthy unrelated scenes from Slumber Party Massacre as back-story to SHM II. In HtD, he uses the events of SHM II, as well as the same footage from SPM, as a back-story. What makes this more than mildly amusing is that most of the actors/actresses, and many of the scripted characters, in HtD are the same as in SHM II. HtD acknowledges the events of SHM II with a wink at the fact that most of the characters in that movie died. You owe it to yourself to see SHM II prior to seeing HtD.I won't spend a lot of time on the plot. Let me just say that, through a series of improbable and illogical events, the five female leads end up wearing virtually nothing as they are stalked through a closed office building one Saturday. Quite a few people die, though usually off-camera and unrealistically, and "Orville Ketchum" lives up to his reputation as one of the funnier and more-difficult-to-kill B-movie actors. (The scene where he staples a bandage to his abdomen is priceless.) One final observation...unlike many of the straight-to-video movies being churned out today, HtD actually has some decent production standards. Cheap, yes, but competent. The film has been correctly exposed and color-compensated. The audio levels and re-recording are quite acceptable. There are no artsy-fartsy camera angles or unnecessary CGI effects. It is simply a better-produced movie than most of the dreck out there today.And it is a hoot! Either you get it, or you don't. Highly-recommended for nekkid-wimmen-in-slasher-films fans.