Beowulf (1999)

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

In a besieged land, Beowulf, a stranger is drawn to the darkness and must battle against a creature named Grendel and his vengeance seeking mother. This is an odd mixed medieval, scifi and steam punk version of the 6th Century poem Beowulf. It has a pumping score and soundtrack with great visuals and plenty of over the top dialogue and action. Despite a made TV feel director Graham Baker offers leather, weapons, castles, dungeons and a practical rubber suit Grendel hidden behind some CGI reminiscent Predator mixed with Alien.With the prowess of Filmation's He-Man Christopher Lambert is Beowulf, sporting a Sting-like bleached hairdo. Corset squeezed Rhona Mitra is stunning as Kyra although given little to do. Model Layla Roberts shows up as the Grendel's mother and a succubus to effectively woo Oliver Cotton who plays Hrothgar. Former Bond bad guy Götz Otto also features and The Mummy's Patricia Velasquez briefly appear as Pendra. The cast wrestle with the script and for unexplained reasons the voices of the main cast have been re-dubbed (with their very own voices) which can be distracting as the timing of the loop is slightly off like an old kung fu film.Even though made prior to The Mummy Returns the CGI Scorpion King looking monster in the closing act isn't as convincing as Lambert's stunt double's Rutger Hauer looking hair and somersaults.It hasn't budget or the finesse of The 13th Warrior (1999) or Outlander (2008) and lacks the seriousness of Beowulf and the Grendel (2005) but it's far more fun than the lustre 2007 3D Beowulf version.Watch it if only for the costumes and Mitra.

This movie has nothing to do with the epic Nordic tale of Beowulf and even less about making good movies. The tale is some kind of hash tossed together with a steampunk sci-fi plot using the names and plot frame from the Beowulf tale. It not only rips bits and pieces from movies like "Highlander" and "Mortal Kombat" but stars Christopher Lambert from both those movies. It was like they wrote parts of the movie after they casted the role of Beowulf. I can almost hear the producer telling the writer, "Hey, we scored Christopher Lambert for the lead. Write in some Mortal Kombat and Highlander lines and clichés!". Ugh, not that it helped or hurt this stinker which I only give 2 stars for Grendel's Mom. Who is basically a babe from Bay Watch and Playboy. This is a good guy movie or something stupid to toss on during a party and you know everyone is going to ignore it.

Why is it, I have asked myself so many times, that the earliest piece of Anglo-Saxon literature known to man—the epic poem of Beowulf, whose author remains unknown—has been given the poorest of treatment over and over again when somebody decided to bring it to the screen. I have seen three separate adaptations of Beowulf, two low-budget productions and one big-budget adaptation that all, unfortunately, proved to be nothing more than travesties and unasked-for disasters. And this 1999 film is not only very unfaithful to the original poem, but very likely the worst of the seemingly always-disappointing Beowulf adaptations.The basic plot is still the same as in the poem, but the way it's worked out in the screenplay is alien. A monster-fighting hero named Beowulf (Christopher Lambert) answers a kingdom's cry to fight an evil creature called Grendel (Charles Robinson) and the monster's vengeful, humanlike mother. To state a fact, I'm not a purist. I was frankly not expecting a faithful adaptation. If I got one, I'd be surprised. But I was certainly hoping for something that I could at least recommend as passable. I didn't get it."Beowulf" is a clunky, poorly-put-together disaster of a motion picture that boasts nothing, for there is nothing to boast. The acting, even that by Christopher Lambert, an always interesting actor, was unqualified and poor, to be charitable. The cinematography was very dark and gloomy and at times, especially during the special effects sequences, it was hard to tell exactly what was going on (big surprise). Basically, it's a gloomy-looking movie and a very gloomy-feeling movie as well. It's dark, slow, ponderous, uninteresting, and overall a waste of time. And sometimes it seems as though the film's not sure what it's supposed to be. Is it suppose to be an epic? A monster film? A poignant story? Or some clunky love story with out of place sex sequences? And the special effects? Don't even get me started on the special effects. They were awful, let's put it that way, especially in regards to Grendel's mother.But as poor as all of this way, I would have gladly taken it as opposed to these verbose and unnecessary monologues and subplots that seem to twist up and control the movie. Sometimes it's almost as if the screenwriter forgot about the main purpose of the plot. Full of bad dialogue, poor special effects, a lack of vibrant colors, and no interesting moments, "Beowulf" is a disappointment of the lowest category. The great poem has yet to be done justice on screen. This is one of the reasons why.

Whoever made the film wanted it to be set up as a Fantasy Movie. I think Christopher Lambert is actually quite talented for an actor. The action in this movie was terrific. It is very much like Blood of Beasts. Unlike most movies, at least mostly everything took place in a castle and not on a battlefield. Most dark age movies tend to be going for the "Battlefield" stage. That is why this movie is unique, plus, the special effects and stunts. There a few technical things that weren't from the dark age, but that's the only thing I didn't like about it. Everything else was good, that's why I give it an 8. I've seen a hell of a lot worse movies, many.