Double Dragon (1994)

Watch something else. There are very few redeeming qualities to this film.

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

Its really quite amazing to see how campy the 90's could actually be. Its also mind-blowing to see just what movies actually got full cinematic releases back then. Case in point, 'Double Dragon', easily one of the most 90-iest 90's movies ever made.K so just in case anyone wasn't in the know, this movie is based on the hugely popular scrolling beat 'em up videogame 'Double Dragon' released in 1987. Double Dragon was basically the game that kick-started a wave of martial arts inspired fighting games throughout the 80's. Interestingly this videogame adaptation was made two years before the dumpster fire that was 'Street Fighter'. But both movies were released in late 94, 'Double Dragon' coming first in November. I'm guessing the studio knew they had a piece of crap on their hands and possibly thought to release it during the height of the beat 'em up craze with 'Street Fighter' (?).So what do we have here? Well its pretty much the standard 90's fantasy plot mixed in with lots of hokey oriental mysticism. Thousands of years ago in ancient China an army of shadow warriors lay siege to a city. In order to save his people the King sacrificed himself to create a powerful medallion. Said medallion gave its owner immeasurable powers over the body and soul. This power was so strong that the King (presumably before he died) split the medallion in two; one half giving power over the soul, the other the body. Naturally both halves have since been apart and hidden from each other. No clue who the shadow warriors are or were. No clue why they were attacking this Chinese city. No idea how the King made this medallion by sacrificing himself. Why would the medallion be so powerful? Was the King a wizard or something? Did the medallion save his city and people? Why am I asking these questions? Well I guess because it all seems kinda important to the plot and its a huge chunk of exposition.In the present (then) futuristic day of 2007 a nasty villain called Victor Guisman (inexplicably changing his name to Koga Shuko later on) is after the medallion so he can rule New Angeles (Los Angeles). He finds one half (on a bad set made to look like a Chinese village) but of course the other half is owned by the Lee brothers. The Lee brothers are of course based on the two main characters you can play in the videogame (Billy and Jimmy). Unfortunately they couldn't even get that right as they cast Scott Wolf and Mark Dacascos. Now whilst I agree Wolf has the boyish looks and Dacascos has the martial arts skills, they most definitely can't pass as brothers. Putting all things aside, you have to remember this movie is terrible. That's the only reasonable excuse. But they did get their individual red and blue outfits right, so there's that...I guess.Billy and Jimmy also have a guardian (adopted mother) that just happens to be an Asian lady with martial arts skills. Lucky that innit, image how crap things would have turned out if their adopted mother was a boring white woman who worked as a bank clerk. Satori Imada (Julia Nickson) is essentially the stereotypically wise mystical Asian character, thing is she isn't particularly mystical in this. As for the villain we have the glorious Robert Patrick hamming it up...gloriously. The character of Victor Guisman/Koga Shuko was created for this movie but added into the 1995 Neo Geo videogame. For some reason this character has hair like Vanilla Ice, an obviously dyed goatee, eyeliner, and dresses like an evil oriental sorcerer of some kind (the usual obligatory dress code). His sidekicks are Linda Lash (Kristina Wagner) who is based off the whip wielding female fighters in the videogame. And finally Huey (Jeff Imada) and Lewis (Al Leong) who are your bog standard Asian martial arts henchmen (but not based on any game characters). I believe the duos names are a nod to the actual Huey Lewis for some reason. At one point Shuko asks 'Huey, Lewis, any news?'. A reference to Huey Lewis and the News.Lets not forget Bo Abobo (Nils Allen Stewart) who is also another videogame character. This villain in the game was a huge roided up meatbag, obviously this being pre-The Rock there weren't that many guys as big back then. But Stewart is initially a good similarity. Alas they fudge this character right up by mutating him into some ginormous hemorrhoid. He then proceeds to do literally nothing for the rest of the movie. So being a movie set in the future, and made in the 90's, there's only one direction this could possibly go. Yes that's right, its a dystopian, post apocalyptic, flooded hellhole that's overrun with various punk gangs and skateboarding vigilante groups. A massive earthquake destroyed half of California yadda yadda yadda. Its remarkable how cities seem to crumble into wastelands filled with gangs when natural disasters happen. Why did half of the youth decide to join scummy street gangs after the quake? How would that make your life any better? And where do they get all their gear from?? Is there a big leather, spikes and chains store in the area? The most utterly bizarre thing about these gangs is the fact some of them dress in postal uniforms, mime makeup, clown outfits, and posh grammar school-esque uniforms.Then you have the Power Corps vigilante gang that...well I'm not sure what they actually do but they're all kids. Do they fight back against the baddie street gangs? Do they fight back against the police and their curfew? Not really sure but what I do know is their attire is totally tubular dude...not! Seriously this gang is the most 90's thing about this entire movie, its unbelievably cringeworthy. A large gang of kids of various ages in a large secret base filled with arcades, skateboard ramps, electronic equipment, some weird green water...hell its just an adventure playground covered in graffiti. And their leader is Marian (Alyssa Milano) from the videogame, only this time she's a badass with cropped bleached blonde hair and dressed in rainbow coloured clothes. Seriously I think the director forgot this was a kids flick at certain points. Like the shot of Milano's ass in tight cut-off jeans whilst she's on all fours crawling into a vent.So as you might expect there are tonnes (and I mean tonnes) of fast, not so witty, quips and mugging into the camera by virtually all involved. All the action centres around vapid childish martial arts sequences that just looked bad even back in 1994. You can see no contact is being made, the sound effects are way too much, everybody is over acting when getting struck etc...Its legitimately embarrassing to watch at times. Other actions sequences focus on vehicles which are just as bad because its all very slow and basic. It makes no sense why the vehicles are the way they are (seemingly no petrol but running on anything you can stick into furnace-like tank). And how would a common street gang get a hold of a massive Humvee-like 4x4? Oh and they stuck metal teeth on the front grill, because that's hella intimidating right...right??The speed boat chase sequence is the epitome of how naff this really is. Billy and Jimmy find a speed boat and escape on the river. The bad guys just happen to be all suited up in all black wetsuits with a couple jet-skis ready and waiting to take pursuit. I think the only positive thing I can say about the movie (and this sequence) are the nice looking matte paintings dotted throughout. These images of a ruined LA alongside live action shots do genuinely look quite good. I quite liked the idea of these large metal struts that hold buildings in place, because of aftershocks. And the special effects on Shuko in his shadow form (when activating his half of the medallion) were very effective. The creeping living shadow on the ground was a nicely realised idea.I think the question here is, should we have expected more from this kids movie? Well at the time videogame adaptations were just starting to flood the market so to speak. 'Street Fighter', 'Mortal Kombat', 'Resident Evil', 'Tomb Raider' were all to come, looming on the horizon. Sure we had already suffered 'Super Mario Bros.' but that was merely seen as a one off mistake, a blip on the upcoming genre. So yes I think its fair to say we were expecting more at the time and looking back they should have done much better. Clearly this should have been an adult movie, I think an over the top violent adult flick could have gotten away with more here. As it stands a dopey kids movie was always gonna be tough because you're simply restricting yourself so much.The plot is weak as hell, cookie cutter stuff. The characters are basic bland stereotypes. There is absolutely no risk involved in anything (no one dies). WAY too many kid actors, also the background extras are hilarious to watch. Just focus on the odd one in crowd scenes and watch them 'act'. The costumes are a literal joke. The weapons all look plastic. The pop culture dates the movie terribly (George Hamilton as a newcaster, digs at Madonna etc...). Dreadful looking early CGI sequences are dreadfully ghastly. Oh and the actual arcade cabinet of Double Dragon is clearly seen in the movie...ugh!!! In short this movie is a pantomime of crap. Its not 'so bad its good', its just bad.2.5/10

The only reason I'm giving this such a low rating might be because it really is worse than the Mario Bros. movie. At least that movie had interesting visuals. This movie is awful and it makes me realize how bad video game adaptations can be. The worst part has to be the character Abobo. Even though I have never played the arcade game before, I know how cool this character is. He reappears as an awful special effect and looks just plain stupid. He's beaten easily. He later looks at a beautiful woman and sees himself as being ugly. I guess this, motivates him to be a good guy? When he comes back, he still doesn't do any fighting. His character was mostly pointless. I have played this amazing flash game called "Abobo's Big Adventure" which shows the character much better represented. He's force fed spinach which makes him fart. It's as dumb as it sounds. Most of this film is completely pointless. There's a subplot where the characters try to steal the other half of a medallion. You could literally take those ten minutes out and nothing would change at all. Did they really think they could get the medallion half while the villain was right there to easily see them? The costumes in this film are downright tacky. There's a postal worker who just jumps off a building into mud. What? The effects are awful as it features the villain using his shadow powers with awful CGI.There's a scene where the brothers crash into a sign and their boat is blown to pieces in a firey explosion. They then appear just fine, but how? There's a scanner that outright says they're dead. What's going on? The villain is eventually defeated by turning on lights. Yeah. He drains all the lights in the city and then he's defeated by them being turned back on? He uses the medallion's power to turn into two blue people. What am I even watching? The acting is awful too. You should at least watch the "Killer Tomatoes" movies for intentionally being dumb. Go back to "Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie" for a video game movie that's actually good. *

You have to take this movie for what it is, a mid 90's video game era and Ninja obsessed culture movie. Many people rate this movie bad because they are up tight adults. In reality, this movie is great for kids who like martial arts, etc.. It's a good movie for kids who want to watch Martial Arts style movies but without all the bad language and sex. Somehow that gets bad ratings from the morons of today.The futuristic imaginary city, "good gangs", and villain aspects are so good. Cheeky one liners and cars with flames. My sons loved it. It's very much a power ranger and TMNT feel. It's so 90's and this movie had great casting.

OMG this movie stinks. I only ended up watching it because the SLEUTH channel said Miami Vice was playing now. Instead, this epic is on. After 10 minutes, I thought this was some straight to video movie. Then I realized this was a really bad 90's movie. The cast completely under performs. It has to be the director's fault. The producer threw money in the toilet. No way they made their money back on this bomb. This movie should never have been made. I wonder what the budget was.Robert Patrick...bad guy/former evil Terminator - hair is worth watching the movieMark Dacascos...plays a good guy, like in all his B-movies Scott Wolf ...total wimp, couldn't beat up Jello, plays martial arts dude with a hot temper. He is Ryan Secrest's twin. Alyssa Milano...cute young vixen, I don't care if she can act.If this movie is based on the video game, I didn't notice, because of the lame plot, silly acting and again, Wolf acting tough.Throw in the occasional hottie, bad girl and this is a fun watch, if you ignore that acting. Go in with the belief that the movie is better than watching bass fishing and you'll at least have something to tell your friends about later. "Dudes, I saw this terrible movie."There has to be a way to turn this movie into a drinking game, like taking a drink every time a lame line is said. You'll kill a case of beer in 20 minutes.