The Haunted Mansion (2003)

For all the hype it got I was expecting a lot more!

This is ultimately a movie about the very bad things that can happen when we don't address our unease, when we just try to brush it off, whether that's to fit in or to preserve our self-image.

This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

There's one thing that people should be very clear on, and that's that Eddie Murphy does not care in the slightest what people think of his acting career. And that's good, because this film is unspeakably bad and is only viable as a tool for wantonly consuming 90 minutes from your life that you will never get back. Yes, this is an Eddie Murphy project that functions better as a fourth-dimensional black hole than anything else.What audiences have here is a project in which Eddie Murphy plays real estate agent Jim Evers, who hopes to transform a dilapidated mansion in New Orleans into financial success. Before venturing out in search of a buyer for wreck, he and the family he's been somewhat neglectful towards visit the house for an inspection. They discover there is more going on with the property than they could have ever anticipated.Eddie Murphy's character is hapless, with little awareness of what is going on outside of his real estate duties. Terrance Stampis, confusingly, in this movie as one of the 999 ghosts that reside in this mansion, even though his acting career easily and understandably puts the film "beneath him." Jennifer Tilly is present in the film in a significant role as a disembodied medium and adviser to Jim Evers. Despite the quality of the film overall, their talents are put to good use, considering what little they're working with.The acting is stiff and contrived. Murphy turns in a performance that is completely alien to the talent that brought him success throughout the 1980s. The relationship between Evers and his wife appears unnatural and difficult to believe within the context of the film. The film might have had greater success with an increased focus on the efforts made by the home's original owner, a ghost, to reunite with his long-lost wife. Certain contradictions were apparent in the film as well, such as what physical objects ghosts were capable of manipulating. Sometimes they were able to move objects. Other times they were relegated simply to phasing through them. The visuals of the film are quire colourful. The effects, both special and practical, are top-notch and clearly show a great deal of effort had been put into producing them.This film is mainstream pabulum of the highest order. Murphy delivers a performance that's typical Murphy schtick — frantic, energized inanity with a dull edge and inarticulate delivery, devoid of any nuance or subtlety. Murphy's more sophisticated and impressive roles, not nearly as upsetting, are not easily remembered. Everyone can remember his Saturday Night Live origins, his work in 48 Hours, Trading Places, Coming to America, The Golden Child, Bowfinger, the Beverly Hills Cop series, and Dreamgirls. People often want to remember these, but seldom do they wish to recall the likes ofMeet Dave, Norbit, Daddy Day Care, Nutty Professor, Dr. Dolittle, and the infamous Pluto Nash. People can find themselves anxious with the likes of Ben Affleck because they remember roles he's "phoned in," such as with Jersey Girl, because they know he can produce absolutely amazing work like he did in The Town. People know he can do better, so they become, understandably, disappointed. That perspective we have for Murphy has inflated to such proportions that you can't help but see anything else. The Haunted Mansion is a good vehicle of work to add to the pile of problems movie- going audiences have with his intentions. It's good that a man that has done ten Shrek-related jobs since the first Shrek doesn't care what audiences think of him, otherwise this might all seriously effect him on an emotional level.Former Village Voice writer Rob Minkoff may have put it best when he said, "Rob Minkoff has directed a movie that's nearly laughless and nowhere near as frightening as what's happened to Eddie Murphy's career." Even famed film reviewer Richard Roeper simply described The Haunted Mansion as "dreadful." While Disney proved, earlier in 2003, with Pirates of the Caribbean that a film based on an amusement park ride can be successful, Eddie Murphy proved that substantial talent is a significant portion of the equation required to project the success of such a film.You'd get more for your dollar if you were to visit the actual Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland rather than engaging with The Haunted Mansion. There's no particular reason this film should exist. The world is worse off it now that it exists. Rather than waste your time with this cinematic detritus, you would be better off sitting somewhere and reading a book for 90 minutes.

Jim Evers (Eddie Murphy) is a hard-working real estate agent who doesn't have time for his family. After missing their wedding anniversary, he proposes to go down to the lake. His wife Sara (Marsha Thomason) gets a call from Gracey Manor looking to sell. Sara is reluctant to go but Jim drags her and the kids to meet Edward Gracey (Nathaniel Parker). A storm floods out the road and the Evers are forced to stay. Ramsley (Terence Stamp) is the stiff creepy butler. The manor is web-filled and Gothic with a vast cemetery in the back. Jim stumbles onto a secret passage and encounters Madame Leota (Jennifer Tilly), a gypsy ghost locked in a crystal ball. The kids follow a spectral orb up to the attic and finds a portrait that looks exactly like their mother where they meet house staff Emma (Dina Spybey) and Ezra (Wallace Shawn) who are actually ghosts.Eddie Murphy is pushing too hard to be a jerk. It's no surprise that he succeeds. His character is a jerk and doesn't come off well. Eddie isn't funny anymore. This movie is not scary. It's PG and has no edge to it. Marsha Thomason seems sweet but not very compelling. I do like the kids. This movie needed to work on their level. Essentially, it needed to be their movie if the PG rating needs to stick. The scares are always heightened when the audience sees it through children's eyes. The only fun part is when Eddie and the kids are looking for the key in the cemetery. The kids battle some scary stuff. I just wish the rest of the movie is more like that.

Ah 2003, the start of Disney's major theme park ride adaptations into the movies...not counting a few earlier nondescript flicks and 'Mission to Mars' which I never realised was a theme park adaptation. If you think about this premise you could be forgiven for thinking it would turn out crap, especially with Eddie Murphy involved. And you wouldn't be far wrong on that one point, the casting of Murphy and his 'family' members in this film was a terrible choice.The reason being they all stick out like a sore thumb in the story, they all look totally out of place and none can act too well. The film has been turned into a Murphy vehicle and the film suffers for it, it feels forced, his family in the film feel forced and fake, the silly humour and annoying dialog from Murphy feels forced and its all in there simply for Murphy, awful decision.That aside the rest of the film is actually pretty sweet. The plot has been cleverly turned into a romantic ghost tale where upon the mansions owner is seeking his one true love whom he lost centuries ago. Of course his true love is Murphy's living wife so a battle of supernatural proportions ensues as Murphy must stop this aristocratic spook floating off with his wife.What works is the extra casting of the main ghost servants and their master within the mansion. Stamp is perfect as the stiff upper lipped butler with a dark secret, Wallace Shawn is perfect as the quirky sidekick footman ghost, Tilly is surprisingly good as the crystal ball gypsy spirit and Nathaniel Parker plays the noble British toff manor owner to a tee complete with thick dark locks. Not too sure how these ghosts work though, at times they can't or don't seem to interact with the living, then all of a sudden they can touch and pick things up.Its all very clichéd and hammy of course being based on a stereotypical haunted house attraction but that's fine, you expect that. In fact they capture that atmosphere perfectly, the whole eccentric Disney ambiance coupled with an eerie fanciful glow. Indeed the film does work better if you have actually been on the attraction at Disney World. There are many many little homages to the ride throughout the film from visual references to dialog, some sequences showing identical sections from the attraction. It does sounds kinda tacky but it really works nicely and gives you a pleasant ghostly trip down memory lane.I really liked how the ghosts become 'more dead' visually the further from the mansion they are. So once outside all the ghosts have a really cool supernatural blue glow or aura which looks quite striking. I liked the graveyard and how it housed many of the ghosts from the attraction including the three famous hitchhiker spooks. As said I also liked the replication of sets from the attraction too, the hallway of portraits being the main one easily. One thing I didn't like was the swamp set New Orleans look for the mansion, not my personal cup of tea, I prefer the Liberty Square Dutch Gothic design from Disney World's Magic Kingdom.But how did that ghostly horse drawn hearse crash through the walls of the mansion complete with Murphy and co inside?. How would ghosts be able to knock through walls when they are...errr ghosts. And how on earth would living people be able to go through the wall with the ghosts??.On the whole the film does look really good and clearly a lot of thought and craftsmanship went into making the visuals realistic. Its really nice (and amazingly surprising) that they actually constructed the mansion instead of relying on CGI. The interiors and props all benefit from genuine craftsmanship too which really sets the mood, for all you 'Nightmare Before Christmas'/Addams Family/Munster lovers out there (like me) you'll love it.This is a film you really really really really did expect to be utter utter utter tripe...but its not!. Its actually a really decent looking light-hearted supernatural ride just like the real attraction. The homages are great for folk who have been to the attraction but for those who haven't they just come across as neat spooky visual candy. As I said the only let down is Murphy and co as the endangered mortal family, well mainly Murphy. His tomfoolery lets down the quite decent performances of the supernatural cast.6.5/10

What was Eddie Murphy doing in this movie? The idea of having married realtors and their two children getting trapped in the haunted mansion while there on business and trying to escape wasn't a bad idea, but the execution was all wrong. Murphy endlessly mugs the camera, which makes his miscasting even more obvious. And the script? It's painfully obvious, with predictable lessons about not giving up, follow your heart, face your fears, love conquers all, and blah, blah, blah. The story is so generic that it's mechanical, all the way to its predictable ending. Very little of the original story or characters are used and when they are, they just have bit appearances. Amid all of this are beautiful costumes, decent special effects, sets that are elaborate yet artificial looking, and wisecracks that raise the occasional smile or chuckle but are never as funny as the filmmakers think they are. The best that one can say it's harmless and easy enough to take. Very faint praise indeed.