Yellowbeard (1983)

Best movie of this year hands down!

Absolutely Fantastic

This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

You would think a movie with this many hilarious actors would be side splittingly funny. You would be wrong. While it's not a bad movie, you would probably not realize that it's a comedy if someone else hadn't told you. It's no surprise that someone who is a huge fan of Cheech & Chong and Nigel Planer has never heard of this until today. If you like those guys or Monty Python you will enjoy this movie. If you want some hard laughs, look elsewhere.

This movie, though muddled a bit, should still remain a must for Monty Python fans. Icing on the cake with this film is the outstanding performance by Madeline Kahn. It is also memorable for the inimitable Marty Feldman, as this was his last film and of course in which he is a standout. The script for the most part is clever, as is to be expected. It is the final cut that lends itself to some scenes (i.e., at Portsmouth, or later at sea) that are too drawn out and too laborious in construct. Unfortunately, as one of the script's authors, Chapman was reportedly ignored when it came to final editing. Cheech and Chong, while comic legends now and innovative for their time, do over- emote in all of their scenes, but amusingly enough this is most humorously addressed in the script itself in the dialogue during a momentous battle scenario. If you love the original Pythons -- which include Chapman, Idle and Cleese, then as a devotee you owe it to yourself to see this movie (if you haven't already!). Plus it has a shortened blood-squirt scene reminiscent of the Black Knight in Python's Holy Grail film. Another plus is Peter Cook in the movie, former comedy partner of Dudley Moore, but somewhat understated and underutilized as a comedic romantic foil to Chapman's Yellowbeard. This should probably be added to the movie collection of any Python fan, as it captures comedy moments that are classic yet past.

I found a copy of this 1983 pirate comedy nearly three years ago and rented it. The cast features Graham Chapman in the title role, and also includes Eric Idle and John Cleese, all former Monty Python actors, which was how "Yellowbeard" captured my attention. It was also released the same year as Monty Python's final film, "The Meaning of Life". When I first watched this film, I found that it was really funny for a while and then dwindled a bit, but overall, while it was no classic, I thought it was reasonably satisfying as a comedy adventure. This month, I rented it again, from the same video store and probably the same copy, and I don't know if I can describe it exactly the same way now as I did the first time, but if not, it still wasn't much different.In the late 17th century, the infamous Yellowbeard (based on real-life pirate Blackbeard) is a violent, murderous pirate who is skilled in the art of pillaging around the seas! He is arrested for tax evasion and imprisoned for the next twenty years, but despite years of torture, he refuses to tell anyone where his vast collection of treasure is hidden. One day, his wife, Betty, comes to talk to him and finally tells him that he has a son named Dan who is now twenty years old. Yellowbeard is disappointed to hear that his son has turned out to be nothing like him. Instead of being a murdering, raping pirate like his father, Dan is actually a true gentleman. The British Navy decides to have Yellowbeard's sentence increased by 140 years so he will escape and go for his treasure. The ploy works, as the pirate soon makes a violent escape and rounds up old crew members of his to find it. The only place his treasure map can now be found is on his son's head. Yellowbeard, his crew, Dan, and the British Navy all set out to sea to try and finally find the loot! I think there were quite a few times when I laughed hard both times I saw this film. One memorably funny part I remember from both viewings is the first scene with the mouthy parrot, and there are so many other highlights, such as the lead character trying to behead his son for the treasure map when they first meet! There are frequent rape jokes in the film, starting with the conversation between Yellowbeard and Betty in prison, in which the pirate mentions how he raped her. After that, the film shows the title character raping women in several scenes. As tasteless as this aspect of the film is, and as much as many would be disgusted by it, I have to admit, it often made me laugh, even though I know VERY WELL that raping is NOT funny AT ALL in real life! When I first watched the film, it seemed like I could give it an 8/10 for a while, but in the end, I couldn't give it any more than a 7. There were times early on when it seemed like an 8/10 for me the second time as well, but once again, it was a 7 in the end. It's not always that funny, and the gags, plot, and cast can't carry the film consistently throughout.Not only does the cast of this movie feature three former Pythons, it also includes three people who appeared in Mel Brooks' smash hit Universal horror spoof, "Young Frankenstein". These three cast members are Marty Feldman (who unfortunately suffered a premature death during the filming of "Yellowbeard"), Madeline Kahn, and Peter Boyle (the latter two have since died). It also features comedy duo Cheech & Chong, and I'm not too familiar with them, believe it or not. With all these cast members, one might expect this pirate comedy to be a work of comedic genius, but it's not, even though the cast in general put on decent performances. "Yellowbeard" is not exactly what you would call a popular movie, and it apparently bombed at the box office. Also, John Cleese apparently hates it, but as much as I admire him, I'm going to have to disagree with his views on this film. Personally, I think this film is better than "Splitting Heirs", "George of the Jungle", and "Shrek the Third", all films Cleese had a part in, though I certainly don't hate any of those films, either. Well, no matter how despised this 1983 flop may be, MUCH worse comedy films have been done, and I have no problem admitting that I've found a number of scenes memorably funny here.

I somehow missed this movie in its first release, but having seen it recently on cable I realized I didn't miss much. Looking at the cast and crew, you'd expect one of the greatest comedy films ever made. Three Pythons, Peter Cook, Cheech & Chong, and several Mel Brooks alumni (Mars, Boyle, Kahn, Feldman, and composer Morris). But it never gets off the ground. It's as though Chapman couldn't figure out if he wanted to make a cute adventure movie or a zany comedy, so it ends up not functioning well as either. I kept waiting for a genuinely funny sequence, but in vain. Peter Cook is wasted in a fairly straight role (as is Eric Idle), and most of the other cast members wander aimlessly through the thin plot. Chapman could probably have written a very funny 5-minute pirate sketch, but was out of his depth in a 90-minute feature. John Morris did produce a good soundtrack, however, and David Bowie makes a nice walk-on appearance.