House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

The simplest description of this movie would be a live, closed-circuit feed from Hell. There are absolutely no redeeming features to the acting or plot. Just unremitting gross-out butchery. 90 minutes of your life that you can't get back. This far outdoes any other awful movie I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot. It's not even charmingly awful, like Plan Nine From Outer Space. It's just soul-crushingly awful.

The thing is about this movie other than it being hilarious to watch is that I have no idea what it is actually about; I mean you would think that doctor Satan who was hyped up at the start would be the main antagonist, but instead it's some random family who likes killing (because of course), then you would think that when doctor Satan, the big bady, the one and only finally shows up he dies from falling debris..... ya this movie is just classic good bad movie which is why it's hard to rate those unless you have some other scale (The garbage scale or something) to rate it on. I'm going to give it a 7 on the turd scale and a 2 on the actual scale.

Rob Zombie's House Of 1000 Corpses is a lot to sit through, and at times is a victim of its own overly zany ambition. Nevertheless, it's the first stepping stone in the path of one of the most fascinating and talented directorial careers in the industry, and is a completely batshit mental curiosity in its own right. Zombie sprung onto the scene with this one and has since been a controversial, much talked about and frequently hated voice of horror. Let's get one thing transparently clear: No one can be blamed for not enjoying his films, they're incredibly niche and not everyone's thing, but you are simply lying to yourself if you won't concede what a hugely talented writer, director and all round filmmaker he is. I've had to get quite stern in conversations with people whose tunnel vision stubbornness supersedes their ability to logically analyze his work, and I simply won't put up with it. Alright, scolding done, over to the film. I'll be the first to admit that House is a splattered mess at times and goes about six light years over the top, but the sheer grungy scope of production design is really something to see. In deepest backwoods Americana, the murderous Firefly clan preys on, terrorizes and murders pretty much anyone who gets in their path. Bill Moseley is a Manson-esque dark angel as Otis Driftwood, renegade bad boy brother, Sheri Moon Zombie is like Harley Quinn on bath salts as Baby, who is definitely the scariest, while gargantuan Matthew McGrory, walking decrepitude grandpa (Dennis Fimple) and giggling slutwhore Mama (Karen Black doing her very best freaky Betty Boop rendition) round out the rest of the brood. They live in some cluttered rural dump right out of Hoarders, luring unsuspecting travellers off the road and murdering them in really over elaborate, exhaustive looking ways. Oh and we see the birth of one of cinema's most jovial and sleazy killer clowns, Sid Haig's motor mouth Captain Spaulding, who bookends the film in uproariously raunchy comic relief. It's a neon fever nightmare of relentless commotion, visual excess, metal music, retro Americana pop culture bliss and sadistic gore, Zombie going all out to solidify his storytelling aesthetic that would continue, in augmented, evolved ways, over the course of his brilliant career. This is certainly as obnoxious a film as you'll find in his stable, and while it ranks in the southern end of my Zombie favourites list, there's just no ignoring the raucous, depraved celebration of all things gross, gooey and grotesque that parades by. Not to mention the whip-smart, trashy and endlessly funny dialogue, writing being skill that the man excels in on another level.

There are a lot of haters for this movie. There are, also, plenty of people who worship at its' throne and I am proud to say that I fall into the latter category. Let's just get out of the way that I am NOT a Rob Zombie fanatic. I don't like his music. I was always a little annoyed by his music videos. I pretty much hate his HALLOWEEN films. I do absolutely love the films about the Firefly Family though.This movie is depraved, sick, psychotic and nightmarish and I don't use any of those words with negativity. If you want bland horror, there are plenty of CONJURING ripoffs out there for you. This movie can unnverve you. Many hate and complain of the cutaways, the film clips that are intercut, the odd little side paths that interweave. I think all of it adds to the quality of this movie. Much like Captain Spaulding's Murder Ride, the whole movie is a walk through a psychotic haunted house. Yes, a lot of it feels like a video DJ playing at a Halloween party. If you hate that, I get it. I can understand that it's not everyone's bag, especially if you are of an older generation, but I love it and won't apologize for it.We open at Captain Spaulding's, a gas station/ roadside attraction. We meet our main characters, but also one of the best horror icons of the last 20 years, in Spaulding. He's foulmouthed, funny and scary as well. He takes our kids on the Murder Ride, which really sets the tone, as well as the plot. Zombie has a lot of influences, most he is readily willing to admit. He rips off THE OLD DARK HOUSE? Sure, he shows clips of it right in the movie. His aesthetic is pulled from Tobe Hooper? Absolutely, this ride is every bit a love letter to THE FUNHOUSE.Our introduction to the Firefly family is just as memorable. It's Halloween night and its seem they intend to have a talent show. We know that something isn't right, but it's not yet entirely obvious to our main characters, until Baby's Betty Boop act sets off a jealous girlfriend and all hell begins to break loose.From here, the movie goes all over the place. I understand that this is another major complaint, but it's one of the things I love. It's a pastiche of scenes and each character and villain is allowed to shine and play out their own act. Again, I bring in the murder ride metaphor. It's like a walk through the most twist haunted house you've ever seen. Not every scene is connected, but each is terrifying and the end result is one of absolute terror. Otis, Tiny, Dr Satan, The Professor. These are all amazing characters that will bring fear and absolutely memorable enough to become iconic. The fact that they are continually made into action figures, t-shirts, posters and masks is proof of the lasting legacy of this movie. Yes, there are plenty of haters, but walk into any horror convention and see how many HOTC shirts and cosplayers you see. Plenty of horror comes and goes, to be forgotten forever. This movie is new classic. Accept it.