Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Memorable, crazy movie

How wonderful it is to see this fine actress carry a film and carry it so beautifully.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

I first saw this on a vhs in the 90s. Found it to b scary n gory then. Revisited it recently on a dvd for nostalgic fun. It is a horror anthology film. The first segment deals with a mummy brought back to life. The best part about this segment was the star cast, Julianne Moore, Slater n Buscemi. Some off screen gore, inserting steel shirt hanger inside a nose n popping out the brain. The second segment is about a cat. This segment is scary with good effects. The last segment is about a man (James Remar) who witnesses a killing by a Gargoyle n promises the Gargoyle that in exchange for his life, he will never tell anyone about it. Some really good effects, especially the transformation scene.

Okay, yes, I started with a bad pun, but there is really nothing memorable about this movie, at all. When you consider the level of talent involved in the creation of this movie, it should almost be an embarrassment that it ended up so painfully mediocre. Many would tell you that this is the unofficial "Creepshow 3". The plans to create a Creepshow television series eventually resulted in TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE, a second rate TALES FROM THE CRYPT clone. The movie spin off of the series that started as CREEPSHOW and features many of the same people behind the legendary 80s portmanteau resulted in this movie. I am a big of the original CREEPSHOW and this movie doesn't hold a candle to it. Then again, it's not much below the quality of CREEPSHOW 2 which I loved as a kid, but cringe a little now when I revisit and realize how poor some of that movie is, as well.Like most horror anthologies, we have a wraparound story, here the singer from Blondie overacts in the role of a witch preparing a feast, which is supposed to be Joey's Lawrence's little brother, who is so annoying in the role you wish they would eat him. The setup is that blondie has given the kid a book to occupy his time and he convinces her to allow him the time to read a few sections to her, in an effort to buy himself time. For the most part, all of these stories follow the same blueprint that has been done over and over in EC Comics, Amicus films, CREEPSHOW and TALES FROM THE CRYPT. Introduce a plot, give us 10 minutes of horror, then pull the rug out from under the audience with a twist ending that usually features some visual pun. When the formula works, it usually works well and allows directors success with the timeframe. More often than not, though, it results in halfway formulated ideas, corny plots and ludicrous ideas, which is essentially what we have here.The first segment, LOT 249, is a revenge story featuring a mummy. Steve Buscemi has been robbed of some academic award or other when he's cheated by a rich kid at school. Buscemi, also, happens to be a seller of antiquities and his latest acquisition is a mummy. With a scroll, he brings the corpse to live and uses it to enact his revenge. The story features Christian Slater and Julianne Moore and could have been the most terrifying of the lot, except that it can't help but devolve into cheesiness, with bad jokes and Slater hacking the thing apart with an electric meat cleaver.The second segment is just plain stupid. THE CAT FROM HELL is about a pharmaceutical giant being tortured by a cat, who's apparently been sent on a mission of retribution to right the wrongs of abuse done by the company as it tested its' drugs on cats through the years. The cat has killed the man's wife and friends and he knows his time is next, so let's hire Buster Poindexter, as a hit-man, to off the beast. We get boring recollections of the cat's previous murders, many of which feature ridiculous special effects, the kind where an actor holds a badly designed stuffed cat on their face and wiggles it around to simulate a cat attacking them. Then, the assassin is left on his own, in an old dark house, to kill the cat, which only leads to all too predictable results.The final segment, LOVER'S VOW, seems to be most reviewers favorite, but it's really not much better. An artist has just found out he's pretty much broke and drinks his sorrows away. Upon leaving the bar with his friend, they are attacked by a gargoyle that looks as if it was designed by high school students, on a public access channel budget. It's bad, especially when I consider the level of regard that I have for KNB Effects. The gargoyle spares him so long as he promises never to tell anyone what he saw. He immediately meets Rae Dawn Chong, they fall in love, his life gets better, they have kids. If you don't see the end of this one coming a mile away, then you are either stupid, or not paying attention.Then we get the resolution of our wraparound, which sees two people who can't act, playing out a ridiculous situation that crosses that line from being a bad attempt at humor to being insulting to my intelligence.I am coming off a little harsh, but the movie is not good, at all, and really deserves no more praise than this. There are plenty of other good horror movies around. Go watch one of those instead.

A lamentable attempt at resurrecting the flailing bandwagon of horror anthologies, this arrived on the tail end of such '80s "classics" as CREEPSHOW and CAT'S EYE. The first story is an incredibly clichéd tale about a mummy that kills people (like we haven't heard that before). The film is supposedly based on a tale by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, but, having read the tale in question, I'm afraid that it's a long way away from the Victorian story. However although the story is rather clichéd there are a couple of enjoyable performances from Christian Slater, in his typical "nice but slightly deranged" role and Steve Buscemi as the spooky student. Also there are a couple of neat death sequences where a man has a coat hanger shoved up his nose and his brain pulled out, and another sequence where Julianne Moore (to make up for her atrocious acting in THE LOST WORLD) gets cut open and flowers stuffed inside her body! In the end though we've seen this kind of thing before so it doesn't hold too many chills.The second story is much the same. The plot is atrocious - a lame story about a cat killing people (anyone remember THE UNCANNY? I thought not). Although the plot is atrocious, the final ten minutes of the episode are quite entertaining with the hit man battling the cat. The various weapons he uses - knife, lethal injection, and finally pistol all fail to kill the cat which appears to have teleportation skills! Unfortunately the PREDATOR rip-off "cat vision" is rather less impressive. However this battle finally climaxes in an excellent sequence where a cat climbs into the hit man's open mouth and into his stomach! This effect is truly 'stomach churning', blood everywhere, an excellent spectacle which pretty much makes the episode. However apart from this there isn't much to hold your attention apart from a few supposedly atmospheric 'man running about in darkened rooms' scenes.The third story is quite old-fashioned in the way that all of the loose ends are tied up and it all comes across as rather fitting. The acting is adequate but the episode benefits from some good special effects in the form of the demon, especially when Rae Dawn Chong herself turns into it at the end. This episode is the best as it aims for something more than the tepid chills of the previous efforts - it's a tragic love story. That said, it's still strictly pedestrian in its structure.The wraparound story too is very average about the witch and the boy. Really there is nothing to get excited about with this film and I was left pretty disappointed. It's good enough on a merely "moving wallpaper" scale, in that it holds your attention, but afterwards there is nothing to consider, it says nothing, it just tries to be clever and isn't. On reflection all of the stories are filmed in the dark which gets quite annoying. There is nothing which lifts this film above average, which is a shame. Consider this a missed opportunity.

The fact that two of the stories in this fine thriller are based on works by Stephen King and Arthur Conan Doyle promises good things for the viewer. Tales From the Darkside not disappoint; it is a far better than average horror anthology. Typical of 1980's horror movies, it is an entertaining combination of humor and thrills.The segment that frames the other three segments is about a witch who wants to serve up a little boy as a meal. The boy distracts the woman by telling her stories from a book with the same title as the movie. The woman, Betty, is played very well by Debbie Harry in her prime. Her almost cold, flawless beauty is perfect for the part. It's a shame that Harry did not capitalize on her physical beauty and apparent acting ability to appear in more movies back in the day.The first standalone story is Lot 249 by Arthur Conan Doyle. It's about an ambitious young museum curator who purchases an Egyptian mummy's casket. Steve Buscemi brings the right amount of creepiness to the role. Christian Slater and Julianne Moore are also featured in the story. It's entertaining to watch a critically acclaimed actress such as Moore play the hot young coed. This must be one of her first film roles. Despite her attractiveness, it is very clear from watching that she's more than just a pretty face.The second story, called Cat from Hell, belongs to Stephen King. It is the simplest of the three. A wealthy pharmaceutical company president hires a hit-man, amusingly played by rock singer David Johanssen, to dispose of his cat. The cat has other plans. If viewers are looking for blood and guts, this is the story. The last story, Lovers Vow, is Th most emotionally involving of the three stories. It is, after all, a love story of sorts. It is also the best developed of all the segments. A struggling artist (James Remar) witnesses a murder, but is compelled to keep quiet about it.On the same night, he meets a beautiful woman (Rae Dawn Chong) who becomes his wife and the mother of his children. The woman, however, is more than she seems. Chong and Remar both do a fine job in their parts, as does the rest of the cast throughout the movie. A good cast, along with well-done makeup and effects, make this a fine anthology.