The Witch (2016)

Wonderfully offbeat film!

What makes it different from others?

The performances transcend the film's tropes, grounding it in characters that feel more complete than this subgenre often produces.

It's a movie as timely as it is provocative and amazingly, for much of its running time, it is weirdly funny.

I rarely ever write reviews anymore- refuse to rate films on a 1-10 scale- and NEVER watch trailers (you guys who watch them- do you also answer phone calls telling you you've been selected to go on a cruise for free?). I, however, felt the urge to write a little concerning Eggers' The Witch- since I watched (and enjoyed) it and, after reading such disparate reviews I felt like chiming in with my own take. I'll let you in on a little secret, if I hear about a film and want to decide if it's worth seeing, I come to IMDB and read the user reviews. If the film has many high AND low ratings from users-it's worth a try. The Witch was just such a film- horror films that are criticized for being "slow" and having "like no plot" in the low ratings are a slam dunk to be good. This is really a very nice little film- but it could have been so much better. I felt that the director was probably made to compromise his vision of the psychological breakup of a Puritan family due to various issues (religious fervor, isolation, jealousy, insecurity, and most importantly the onset of puberty). I find it hard to believe that Eggers ever really intended for the satanic forces to be made visible to the audience (at least not in the sensational way they are)- the viewing of the witch and the baby early in the film destroys the possibility that what is going on here isn't really supernatural at all- and that is the lens through which this film presents its best face. I'd like to think he merely caved to pressure from "money guys" to "sex up his movie" to please the lower level viewers (and, indeed, he didn't even sex it up enough for those Philistines- who wouldn't know a great film if the screen fell forward onto their laps)- sadly this really hurts the film. I will say, however, that i will be anxiously waiting for his next film with the hope that as he achieves enough success he will be able to present his true vision. Developing.

I do not really like this movie that much. It is a bit too boring, extremely slow paced, and a bit confusing at times.However the acting is phenomenal, from the Goat to the kids, and if Anya Taylor-Joy is not a shining star a couple of years from now I am going to eat my laptop. The story is also very compelling. Yes, it is not perfectly told, as it is also confusing, but very interesting nevertheless. The movie is feeding us psychological horror and it works thanks to an amazing cast. The ending is also top. I love it when evil "wins", and I also believe it open up the possibility for sequels. I think they should do a follow up to this, Anya Taylor-Joy can play a fully grown adult witch that uses her body, mind and spells to gain immortality and watch the Salem trials from afar while chewing on a baby...

New England, 1630: a puritanical family living in the wilderness are tormented by dark forces.Robert Eggers, director and scribe of The VVitch, thou displeaseth me with thy movie: I commend thee for thy dedication to realism, but authentic production design, gloomy cinematography and oft incomprehensible period dialogue maketh not for an enjoyable experience.I wished to take my leave soon after the start, though I continued perchance matters improved. This was not to be! I bade thee, list' not to the positive reviews that laudeth this film, for I speak aright when I say that The VVitch doth make thine eyes heavy and time standeth still.By the end, thou will hath endured much tedium, but I ask thee 'for what?'. Naught in the way of scares, I tell thee, but many a yawn.

We persevered through this, and really wish we hadn't. By the time people were talking to goats it was too late. As the screen went black and we declared 'that better not be it', lo bad behold a wasted 90 minutes was concluded with a ridiculous non-ending.The only saving grace is some decent acting from the eldest sister. I would; however, invest your time elsewhere. 3/10.