Noah's Ark (1999)

SERIOUSLY. This is what the crap Hollywood still puts out?

It's not great by any means, but it's a pretty good movie that didn't leave me filled with regret for investing time in it.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

Yes, absolutely, there is fun to be had, as well as many, many things to go boom, all amid an atmospheric urban jungle.

I bought this as part of a boxed set of other Hallmark mini-series. I had just watched In The Beginning which wasn't too bad, it went the same length of time as Noah's Ark and included several story lines from the Old Testament, from Genesis to Exodus. Though the DVD did have a video fault for some of it which distracted. Noah's Ark was one biblical story for about the same length of time so some amount of filler seemed to be expected. The story is basically somewhat of a mess. Though I wouldn't say the acting was bad. I don't know why people associate bad movies with bad acting automatically. I was amused when Mary Steenburgen seemed to change into Kate Bush during the late boredom sequence on the ark. For reasons known only to the makers, though time length was probably a factor, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah was added. Our God of this story justifies the destruction as being a warning that went unheeded and so led to the flood. Though I gather these events in the bible occurred much after the flood. Seemingly aware of this odd take on the story, our Noah and wife talk about their mistrust of scribes and how they would probably not include them as being present during the events of Sodom and Gomorrah. The voice of God at times oddly resembles John Huston from the 1966 movie of the bible. Apparently if you are going to do the voice of God, that one seemed like the way to go. Noah gets going on the building of the ark sometime into the story. I don't know if I missed it, but I don't recall God telling him to build the ark when Noah started, just to walk around a field with a stick. Reviewers who called this an attempt at Monty Python were correct. At times it quite obviously seems to evoke Python with almost endless witty dialogue and silly mugging. The other reviewer who said it showed how God worked in mysterious ways by encouraging people to check the real story in the bible was probably correct too. Noah is shown as drinking alcohol quite a lot and this apparently was correct about him. Maybe the cults and debauched behaviour before the flood is meant to show why God means to destroy life on earth, though I didn't see what was funny about the mass killing in the town by water. It seems to go too far with other boats showing up after the flood. Here it seems to evoke Waterworld. It is with some relief that it is confirmed that all life is killed after these episodes. The high point of absurdity is when the human crew of the ark respond to boredom and start acting crazy. I'm sure Noah said something about poisonous mushrooms at some point, which might explain the writing too. It is during this that Mary Steenburgen turns into Kate Bush.I watched this as part of Easter viewing but the disregard for the biblical account is a bit too distracting. Special effects seem crude for the most part but effective enough.The possible reason this was made in Melbourne might have been because of the tank used. A late version of Moby Dick was made there also with Gregory Peck having a part. I was amused by the obviously Australian acting at times in Noah's Ark.

I thought that this was an excellent movie! Was every little bit Biblicaly correct? No, but the main points were brought across very well! This movie makes me tear up every time I watch it. At the beginning of the movie it is stated that the creators of this movie took a poetic license with the film as they were not there. This was a group of people's interpretation of what happened put onto paper and then onto film. I am glad that a group of people took the initiative to create this movie and tell the story of Noah's Ark. The story of Noah's Ark is a powerful one, it reminds us of Gods power and his love. It makes me happy to know that a group of people took the time to make this story into a film and share there own interpretation of Noah's Ark with the world.

This one lost me from the very beginning with its "poetic licence" disclaimer. I believe, if you are going to make a movie about God's word, the truth is very important."Noah's Ark" is everything a film like this shouldn't be. It is inaccurate, irresponsible and lacks impact as a result. Director John Irvin is unable to inspire, and the film is thus dull and at times moronic.Jon Voight has been infinitely better, as has Mary Steenburgen. Even the great F. Murray Abraham wastes his time. All the English accents are annoying too. Forget it!Saturday, April 1, 2000 - T.V.

This is pure CRAP, and probably the worst Biblical theme film ever... Absolutely inaccurate, I mean, they've put Sodom and Gomora BEFORE the great flood. They've described Lot as a friend of Noah although he lived after Noah. To make things worse, later Lot became a pirate and attacks Noah's Ark during the flood!!!??? And what's with the merchant who comes along on a boat which is moved over the water with a bicycle mechanism??? And exchanges alcohol for a food and water, and then Noah is portrayed as alcoholic!? Mockery, and continuous blasphemies one after another, and it goes on and on, and on... Film maker and all participants surely secured themselves the front row in hell with this garbage...Please stay off this crap, because you will save yourself nearly three hours of your life.